[salukigirl]

It took me a long time to become a positive person. I am in a really good place in my life right now so it really annoys me when someone ALWAYS looks on the bad side of things. If a teacher helps, they didn't help enough. If the basketball team is up by 10, they're not up by enough. Something is always wrong with something! I don't get it. I write cute notes on his car in the snow and I get told that I'm making "microscratches" with my fingers when I do that. I sweep off the snow and he has to redo it. I vacuum, I miss a spot. I do the dishes, there are water spots on them. What the hell?! Why is nothing ever good enough?! Its seriously just about everything. Nothing can ever just be a good thing. There is always a down side. Why? Is life really that awful that nothing can be just plain good? One time I went off and said "oh no, you poor boy. Your parents pay for your cell phone and insurance. You have a house, a brand new car, nice things, and are about to graduate with your masters. Oh my god your life is just SOOOOO HORRIBLE!" I'm getting so sick of it.

"You are such a great boyfriend, but you could be oh so much better if you tried harder instead of (fill in the blanks) and were not a chronic complainer who swears at me."

[lynn P.]

Sounds like a spoiled brat perfectionist. Next time he complains about the dishes, tell him he's welcome to do better.

[perpetuallysad]

Ug. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time still. Byz has a good suggestion, but I know you've talked with him about everything a few times already.

Good luck.

[NuckingFutz]

Maybe you can trade him in for one of them better models. Maybe you can take him up to his mom's door and tell her that you are turning him in for recall. Or you can use the broken record technique. Everytime he mouths off tell him next time you want his opinion you will ask. Or tell him to go tell someone who cares. Nice big yawns work well to. Threatening behavior responds well to "after dinner I'll faint."

[salukigirl]

haha thanks guys. I really do think that this relationship is coming to an end. The hardest thing though is that we live together and I don't know how to say "get your crap and get out". I have a very very strong feeling that I'll be moving to Arkansas by myself but just don't know how to even bring it up. Ugh. But I feel like "yeah, we had a good run". I'm starting to figure out exactly what I want in a guy and I feel like, even if he were to stop being so effing negative, my feelings have pretty much died from all this stuff and I just can't get them back. I really have tried and I know he has too but I just feel like it's over.

[perpetuallysad]

Its ok for things to end. I know it is a sad thing, but to recognize it for what it is and try to move on in a healthy manner is a really good thing. Maybe you two are on two different roads and this is where they part. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, it can be a new beginning for you.

[NuckingFutz]

Just put his stuff outside. He has had enough chances. You know what you want in a man and measuring up sometimes does not cut it. It is time to honor your wants and needs.

[salukigirl]

So we just went out to see a band that we both like. He wanted to sit on the side where noone was and it took forever to actually get him to dance or anything. Then we go outside, and I'm not against smoking pot or anything, but he smoked with a guy he had never even seen before. That is just plain dumb. And then after the guy left he apologized if it made me uncomfortable and I was like "yeah, it made me extremely uncomfortable" and I told him he was a moron for openly accepting a drug from someone he had never met before.

And to top it off he is going on a trip this coming weekend where he is going to hunt and kill animals. I understand the justification but I just could never ever kill an animal. And I really don't like the idea of my boyfriend enjoying killing an animal. That actually makes me kindof sick.

And he has been talking badly about one of my friends that has always been there for me and we are really close. And the faces he makes when I talk about her or the little comments he makes about her makes me feel like he thinks he is better than her. And I really hate that. Who cares what you think about a person? She has ALWAYS been there for me no matter what. No matter what you think about my friends, you cannot think bad about a person who is always there to support me, no matter what her personal choices are. He acts like because she is flirty or does things he doesn't like that I will do the same if we go out together. Grrrr.