[xXWhyXx]

Well, to be honest, she smells bad. Whenever she walks by me I get a whiff of her. And once she borrowed my jacket and when she gave it back, it smelled like BO. I don't want to be mean or anything by telling her that she smells horrible... What should I do...

[marjan]

I think you won't be a good friend if you don't tell her....but how you tell her that needs some work done....probably, it's better to email her....
do you know why she smells bad? is it beacuse of not taking shower or not cleaning her clothes or just cooking spicy food and not cleaning up after that!

[salukigirl]

I would prob make a joke about it instead of being serious and saying "dude.....you smell". Like if my bf's breath smells I'll just plug my nose when he goes to kiss me and ask him if he has been helping the cats clean themselves haha.

I guess it depends on how close you are to this person? If a close friend told me I smelled I would prob take it as a concern for me instead of an insult. But it depends on their personality too. If you think she would be offended then maybe find a new way to say it or hint? Like "hey, what kind of deodorant do you wear?" lol I dont know cause I'm so blunt I just tell my friends they stink.

[shezbut]

Personally, I would have a very difficult time with this!

Who in the heck wants to hear that they reek? Especially if they're very sensitive and/or low self-esteem? That is very painful! That said, they sure as heck don't want people to think that of them. I'd recommend using a very gentle manner to see if you can help figure out the cause.

There are a few possible reasons that I can think of: her environment at home (may not be the cleanest home, and inhabitants lose their sense of smell to those odors); hormonal imbalance (may produce excessive sweat); not regularly bathing or showering; and lastly, not knowing how to properly care for herself (with menstruation).

If you know your friend well, hopefully, you can answer most of these questions yourself. The last two possibilities would require more sensitivity when bringing up the issue. If she has a computer, maybe you can send a medical link that discusses bathing, hormones, and menstruation.

If she lives in a stinky house and is pretty open about it, tell her straight out that you can still smell the stinky house on her clothes. That ought to help.

Best wishes!

[bonaire]

As a guy, I didn't know it was "that bad" but I had some BO - when I was 16 or so, I had my first job in a grocery store. I went there after school without changing clothes. After a few weeks, the manager took me in the back room and gave me "that talk". it wasn't too bad at all - and I can see why. As a teen (this is in the early 80s) I didn't have a shower in our house, so I had to take baths and my mom never helped me much in the hygene department so I didn't buy my first deodorant until after "that talk".

I think it helped - sure I remember "that talk" but then it also helped me with a situation in life that needed attention. If you do it delicately, maybe you can show her you care without causing too much tension.

There is also the other end of the spectrum - too *much* perfume and body spray. Overwhelming perfume is just about as bad as horrible "jungle stink". Good hygene is learned, I think. Our parents should help us learn - but our good friends can help out too.

Perhaps you might ask your friend to look up bromidrosis?

[AAAAA]

Some people just struggle with this type of thing. My eldest son has had an issue with BO his whole life. Even as an infant I'd bathe him in the morning and put him down for a nap and his hair would be crunchy from sweating.

He showers at least once a day, uses anti-perspirant and shower to shower powder. He changes his sheets every other day and washes his blankets at least once a week, his pillows every other week. He's clean, he just has a very strong body odor. He's tried every soap and body wash out there. He happens to be exceptionally hairy.

I don't know how I would deal with a friend with this issue, but with my son I let him know it's time to freshen up.