I am moving. You all know that. Everyone that I work with knows it. My family knows it. My neighbor knows it. So, I was really surprised when my daughter called at 11:00 last night, asking me to babysit today. I said that I couldn't because I have so much to do. She called back this morning and asked again. I said no, and then my SIL got on phone and said he would move the remaining big stuff (which i can't really do) tomorrow and would help me with the final boxing and such. We talked about it in detail. So, I said I would babysit. It was to be from 4 til 8 p.m., at the new house. I went and bought snacks and a sand bucket, so that Stella could help me plant flowers over there. I waited and I waited and I waited til 7:00 p.m. Never mind that I didn't get anything moved. I unpacked everything that was there and almost finished the cat yard. Then I waited. I listened to "Phases and Stages" by Willie and had a good cry and then I listened to Willis Alan Ramsey and just sat there.

I came home and went by the grocery. She just called me. She took Stella to her father's house instead.(She said that I had said no and that anyway, she had said she would call me about it.....She did not say that)..... I was over there, no phone and no way of knowing that.

I asked if they were going to help me and she immediately sighed and I knew right then, that she was not going to "let" Josh help me. I became angry and hung up on her. Well, really, I became hurt and hung up and cried.

I called back and talked to Josh. He lives with it, so he knows what she puts me through. We talked about her having anger management work, but she'll not think she needs it.

I am crushed. I am tired. I am old. I am sore and covered with little bites that I got, while working on the fence.

It hurts me so much that she will do more for her friends, than she will do for me. We went from being really good friends and had a great mother/daughter relationship to this. And I didn't know it was coming. One day she pulled something like this and since then, it's been this way, most of the time.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm low, low, low.....pat

[Miss_A]

{{{{{{fayerody}}}}}} I've took awhile to read your post careful. I know how stressful moving can be takes time to pack everything in boxes then put it in the moving lorry and then take the stuff out the lorry and unpack everything from the boxes. I have moved a couple of times so I know. She asked if you could babysit for her, but in the end she didn't want you to. Next time you shouldn't say that you will babysit for her again because of what happend. That was really selfish to do a daughter asking her mother for looking after her child when she does nothing in return. Have you got any one else to help you that is reliable? Angerment hmm my dad needs that and he can't see how much he loses it! But it can be hard when someone you know have an anger problem. Don't let it get to you, none of thsi is your fault! Feeling betrayed is the right to use even more then hurt. My relationship with my mum keeps changing as I grow older. I hate her...then like her... then dunno? She's ok. You could as one day to go out with you daugther maybe shopping or going out for lunch together and try to talk about stuff.

thank you, Miss_A, moving is a chore. i have a desk, two book cases, an assessor's cabinet (that i keep my 24X28 photographs in) and many boxes. what i don't want, i'm putting into a yard sale for this next weekend.

one bookcase comes apart. (pottery barn) the desk, i'm really worried about. it's antique and made of mahogany and quite heavy. i thought that i would take the drawers out and wrap them and then try to get the desk out to the truck, load and wrap it. i'm painting the solid bookcase, so i'm not too concerned about it's finish.......but, it weighs a ton. pier one, many years ago.

a lot of stuff will go on Ebay. i have an extensive collection of antique hats and a cape and such.....that will be fun, if i ever get over there and settled in.

i pretty much did the kitchen today. oh, well, i'll tackle it all again tomorrow.

thanks, everyone, i need the support.....xoxo pat

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))))))))))))

I am terribly sorry about this. I know how hurt and betrayed you must feel. I am sorry I dont have any advice but wanted you to know that I am here for you.

Much love,


Jen

[Miss_A]

Well don't forget your daughter has her own life now. But I think that it's so selfish that she doesn't care about the women who gave her birth? I mean I sometimes don't get along with my mum, but I kind of thank her for bringing in this world. Still depressed sometimes think I've shouldn't have been born! You know what really helps when I'm putting stuff away listen to music makes everything seem quick while packing stuff. Your selling some of your stuff on ebay good for you. Go to someone who like antiques. I like them even though there a bit old there still the best! Hope you are feeling a little bit better...

am going to go it alone. no whining. just know my physical limitations. my emotional well is shot, so it will be hard to draw on it........thanks, guys.....xoxo pat

[(JD)]

((((faye))) I have been going it alone for 12 years. Never any help from family... they've disowned me for their own selfish reasons. In a way, that's ok, because their lives would only cause upheaval in mine, like you posted about: they only do what they really want to do?

I've had to hire help when I need something done. Toughest part of that is, when you pay someone to help and they still don't arrive!
Some things don't get done. Even though they absolutely had to... it usually costs me big time, money, anxiety, etc.

I need to put some older printer and scanners on ebay.. but don't know how. One of those things that isn't getting done...yet.

Take care of yourself... who cares about all the rest?

Sky, thank you for your reply. I've been divorced for 15 years. I've always had to do for myself.

One of my knees is giving me fits and I have a hard time bending to pick up boxes and such. She knows all of that.

If she needs me, it's a whole different ballgame. I'll get through this.

I e.mailed Colleen and told her that I'm taking a break from her. I will still see Stella and Bella and plan for Bella to spend the night, Monday. I don't see any other way to protect myself right now. xoxo pat

i gave out last night about 7:30. went to sleep on sofa and missed the end of the ballgame..and the Spurs won! i'm going to pick up my granddaughter in about an hour and she is spending the night. work was horrific today. i'm going to increase my searching for another job. i cannot stand those people much longer. i have to reduce the stress that is in my life right now. thanks, guys, i need you now....xoxo pat

[wi_fighter]

Does it feel like this Pat?

How about we give you a big ?