[thine_self_untrue]

I feel really bad about this. But I think I hate my Father.

I used to think he was really wonderful and good. But now all I can see is his failures. I'm kind of mad at my Mother for staying with him. All she ever does is bend her will to his. She is so much too good for this. I hate how he treats her, how he treats everyone. Everyone is just a tool for his own personal use and benefit. If you can't serve him in some way, you're not useful.

Right now he's having some trouble with stomach pain and he's not handling it very gracefully. He's a bit of a hypocondriac and doesn't do well with pain. I geuss I'm kind of mad at him for making such a huge deal out of it. He's gone to the Doctors and they keep on telling him there's nothing wrong, that he just has an infection, but he's convinced it's something more serious. He has everyone waiting on his hand and foot, he's not going to work, staying at home all day and I'm just so mad at him. He has no idea how our family works. We do fine without him, but when he's here, he throws everything out of wack.

I can't stand how selfish and self absorbed he is. He embarresses me. He puts on this facade of piety, and he acts so good and holy, but I am so done with it. He has become revolting to me. I hate him! Why do I hate him!? I feel so horrible. He doesn't abuse me in anyway. He's been 'there for me' my entire life. Am I expecting too much of people?

Ugh. I'm a self absorbed jerk too.

[1flagwriter]

You're not a self absorbed jerk! You are my friend! It is okay to feel this way about our parents sometimes. And often enough, these feelings last a long time.

Have you tried talking to your mother? What does she think about this?

I hope you get things worked out soon.

[lynn P.]

(((thine self untrue))) - it's okay to say how you feel. I think it's common for kids to have some hate feelings. How does he treat your mother badly?

[thine_self_untrue]

I just get annoyed with his constant self concern. I'm sorry for being so stupid.
In my opinion, he treats my Mom like his personal slave. I just don't see his love for her, whereas I see her lying herself down for him all the time.
He's really a pretty good Dad and I should be more grateful. Nothing is ever enough for me. Sorry for letting my temper get the best of me.

[jenkins09]

Originally Posted by thine_self_untrue

I just get annoyed with his constant self concern. I'm sorry for being so stupid.
In my opinion, he treats my Mom like his personal slave. I just don't see his love for her, whereas I see her lying herself down for him all the time.
He's really a pretty good Dad and I should be more grateful. Nothing is ever enough for me. Sorry for letting my temper get the best of me.

You have described a very common scenario in MANY relationships today. I dont fault you for how you feel, its how you handle those feelings. I would recommend a great book to you. Its called "How to receive love." Please read it and be good to yourself.

[catch]

Your feelings are normal. There have been times I hated my husband -- but we're still together after 30 years.

On the other hand, I haven't spoken to my father in 15 years. You dad sounds similar to mine. You don't have a conversation with my dad--he just talks at you. I just have nothing to say to him.

I hope you are able to find the good in your dad again. It's not entirely my choice that I don't speak to mine--its just emotionally safe.