Im new, need help please

I need to know whats going on, because i don't know if im in the wrong

right

i live with my mum and my boyfriend moved in with us a year ago [he has never paid rent or anything] we have been together for 4 years

our house has been up for sale for a fair while and last week we sold it, tonight we had some house viewings and my mum asked if my boyfriend would mind not coming, he said yeah yeah fine and seemed okay....although i knew he wouldnt be, i was terrified about going home because i knew he would argue about it with me, and now it has just blown up in my face, hes saying that he wont help move anything because he is not 'a valued member of this house' but i told him that if we liked a house we saw tonight then we would go back for a second viewing with him, now he refuses to talk to me.

these kinds of things happen all the time, you guys will probably hear about them, so sorry in advance

I juts need to know if i am in the wrong, what shall i do, im in pieces yet again

thanks

Question.. did your mum not want him coming with you to see the houses because she feels the doesn't need to have input into the new house?

Hello, Tigg. Another question: Does your friend contribute anything towards the expenses of living with you? He does not pay rent. Does he eat there? If so, does he pay anything for the food? Does he do any work around the house? How about mowing the grass?

Thanks for the input guys, Sorry I have only just got around to replying!

I dont think so, I think the first time it was becuase she just wanted ot to be mother and daughter kind of thing really,

No he hasnt paid rent in over a year, he quit his job a couple of months in to him moving in, he does eat here and uses everything that he would need to live here, on occasion he has done the dishes and tidyed up the room and whatnot, but im mainly teh one to cook and stuff, he says he isnt comfortable doing anything like that but nothing else really...

well a little update anyways:

we were planning on doing about 3 viewings on this house, we have made an offer on it, my mum and her boyfriend went for a second viewing [i know i thought it was bad to] but she even said that we will go back for a 3rd viewing its not a problem, and I would also liek to go back, we need to measure things to make sure that they will fit, and he sot off accepted that after a couple of arguments

but now he is angry because it hasnt hapened yet, right now we are in financial turmoil beciase we cannot get a loan for a morgage and my mum is having to borrow money off my dad, so thus we dont know if we can even go anywhere, my mum said we will definitley go back again but once she knows the finiacial situation, he doesnt understand that and is now not talking to me, ive tried talking to him about it and he is ignoring me

the argument tonight started beciase we have 2 3ft fish tanks one above the other and i wanted to separate them if possible and put them in the room but he said he 'doesnt want a load of fish tanks in our room taking up loads of space so that we are shoved in a corner' [the fish tanks are mine by the way] so then its started off about how he hasnt seen the room...

Frankly, I think your boyfriend has a lot of chutzpah and does way too much kvetching for one who is basically a freeloader.

I agree with TheByz. I would have a goal oriented talk about his contribution to the household. So far it looks like arguments happen to bury the real issue of him not contributing his fair share. Someone needs to put their foot down.

I have to agree with TheByz. Seems the boyfriend has a lot to say and doesn't want to "share" responsibilities.. Boy, this sounds too familiar... I see it here... Yet I am blind to my own family stuff......Since the boyfriend isn't paying anything whatsoever, I'd put those fish tanks anywhere I felt like putting them...

Am I getting it right? He's living for free at your home and he's giving you guys attitude too....wow!
You sound supper nice....