I am at a loss of what to do.

I have posted before about this situation, but i recently broke up with my unemployed boyfriend that was from Wyoming. We have lived together for 6 months in my apartment. Things got really tense between us since we were fighting like every other day and avoiding speaking to each other a lot. I got out of the apartment and moved in with my Mom even after I already paid the rent for this month and my ex boyfriend didn't contribute a cent to the rent or utilities for the month. The problem is he hasn't moved out yet. He keeps saying that he's going to leave on a specific date, but then i go back to the apartment with my Mom and find out that he lied. He gives an excuse everytime to delay leaving more. It has only been 1 week since i asked him to move out, but i'm really starting to get worried cuz I am missing my apartment and want to get back there. I know i can't live with him though cuz I feel unsafe around him. He did push me down on the ground last time we had a fight. I am starting to believe that he's just trying to manipulate me, take advantage of me, or get me back for breaking up with him.

I am pretty sure that legally there's no way i can get him to leave right now. I haven't told the landlord about this yet, but i really don't want to get her into it. He is not on the lease, but i know even if the landlord evicts him that he'll still be allowed to stay for another 30 days. We never got anything with him agreeing to leave in writing either. I just want him to leave now and not keep putting this off.

Last time i went to the apartment, i took the modem so at least he can't go on the Internet. He said that he'd leave today so if he doesn't leave, I am now thinking of shutting off the electricity. Even then, I don't know if that'd impact him enough to make him leave. I really don't want to battle it out like this, but i see no choice if he refuses to leave. Another idea i have is to call his parents and have a talk with them about the situation. He told me they were the ones that were going to buy him a plane ticket to go home, but his dad has been in the hospital with an infection. If that's the case, then i don't see how he'll ever pick him up from the airport cuz his dad will have a long recovery time. He won't be able to drive to go and get him for awhile and my ex doesn't drive. In that case, I don't see why they can't arrange for somebody else to go and pick him up at the airport.

If you have any ideas on how i could get him to go back home, i'd really appreciate it.

I am in a somewhat similar situation. The people we asked to move in with us are causing a lot of stress and we are concerned that they may cause some damage to the house we rent. They are not on the rental agreement but we don't want to get the landlord involved.

My suggestion is to see if there is some inexpensive (or free) legal advise in your area. We have a county law office were people can come in and ask questions and if nothing else can be directed to the people they need to talk to. We found them by doing a web search.

It would be best if he just kept his word about moving out, but you can't count on that. What has to be done may take a few (or 30) days, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be and the longer it will take for the 30 days to be up.

I would definitely call the Police...they WILL remove him. It's called trespassing since he is not on the lease, he has no right to be there since you have kicked him out. It's a domestic disturbance call, and they could very well arrest him if he still refuses to leave.

Good Luck!

Thanks for your responses. I really don't want to have to get the police involved. I think that would be a lot worse than getting the landlord involved. Besides, i never heard that my situation could be considered a domestic disturbance call and i am not looking for any trouble. Also, there's no telling what he would say to the police about me since he's already proven himself to be untrustworthy. I was moreso looking for advice on how to get him to leave on his own. I want to make it so difficult for him to be there that he'll just give up and go home.

Hi,

I have never been in a situation like this but when I wanted my ex to leave the house my mother threatened to move up there and stay in the spare bedroom... Really would have put a crimp in his freedom I think. It didn't come to that and he did move out on the requested date.
Cutting of the elect. may work but I think that speaking with his parents is probably the way to go - chances are they know nothing about what is going on.
Good Luck with it all and let me know how it goes.

From what you've said, I'm not sure his parents are going to be able to do much. If it's true about his father, then they might not be able to pick him up anytime soon. I'd give them a call anwyays. But if nothing comes of it... And you don't want to get either the police or your landlord involved, why not just buy him a bus ticket, tell him you're bringing him there, to grab all his stuff, and then take him and drop him off. Then try to get the locks changed immediately if you think he'd try to worm his way back in.

I agree that you should investigate some free legal advice (I've seen them have offices in the court house before, you could try there) and consider turning off electricity and hot water (if anything, simply cause you aren't using it!).

Good luck, keep us posted!

Ro

If he had touched me like in your last fight, I would call the cops and his parents after I threw his stuff outside. I know you do not want to involve anyone else, but if you don't, it will get a lot worse for you. His parents probably have no idea what's going on but are probably so glad to have him gone that they would send him money so he won't be back. This guy has no respect for anyone. He thinks he's got a sweet deal. His own place to himself he doesn't have to pay for. Does not have to work. And as a bonus, someone he can verbally, emotionally and lately phsically abuse! Man, it doesn't get any better than this...oh wait...mom's getting involved...it's getting even better. Just get him out and lock the door behind him.

I agree that he probably thinks he has it made. With that in mind, he won't leave until you do something.

The best thing is not always the easy thing.

His name is not on the lease ANYTHING he does will be charged to you. You have asked him nicely to leave and he went back on his word to do that. You need to take the next step.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Thanks guys. He left yesterday when he said he was going to leave which did come as a shock to me, but i'm relieved to be back in my apartment. I am a bit hurt that he didn't leave a note or a voice mail on my phone or anything telling me goodbye or where he was going even. I assume he went back home to Wyoming. I guess i can understand though.

Turning off the Internet probably made him miserable enough to want to leave since he seems to spend a lot of time on the computer. Of course, he left the apartment a mess so i had to spend hours cleaning it up. At least my Mom cared enough to help. I can't believe i could be so nieve to go for someone like that, but that is in the past so i'm going to try not to dwell on that mistake.

Also, i got a nasty message from his ex saying that she heard some good gossip about me that made her laugh. I just ignored her and put her on my block list so she can't contact me in the future. It's apparent that she is inmature and just wants attention. Still, it was much unneeded drama.

I'm sorry he is putting you through all of this. I would definetly talk to your landlord and call the police. If he's not on the lease he doesn't have any rights being there after you've asked him to leave. It just sounds like he is gonna stay around as long as he can to make you as miserable as possible. My husband is the same way. If you ever wanna talk or ever need anything feel free to pm me. I wish the best of luck for you. And just remember we are all here for you hun!

Yes you have every legal right to kick his *** out. Call the cops and tell them he refuses to leave and they will come by and physically remove him from there and possibly take him to jail if you go into the other things about him pushing you etc...

If you don't want to go to those lengths quite yet then say "if I come by and you're still there I WILL call the cops". then, if he still doesnt leave, follow through with your threat. That's what police officers are there for!

Guess I commented too late lol (or didn't read thoroughly enough). Glad he left though!

Congratulations! Glad he left. Glad he finally left. Better sooner than later. And his ex contacting you like that sounds like something out of junior high school. Good luck in the future and keep posting.