[seeker1950]

I just posted under my old topic of "Healing Emotional Wounds" about my feelings of insult and indignation at the thought of my experiences with the man who rejected me, and about whom I've posted.
Today, I realized I was not feeling those exact feelings anymore, but more accurately, REVULSION! I am surprised to reach this stage in my thinking about my experiences with him, having been hopelessly smitten by him and "in love" with him.
Evolving to this stage is familiar to me from recovery from past traumatic relationships. It comes from having opened myself up to risk, being intimate and loving, totally committed, and then being deeply hurt.
I realized today I would not want to run into him by chance, would go out of my way to avoid him, would not want to speak to him, much less chat.
Is this a normal stage in recovery, or unique to me?
Whether it is normal or not, I welcome it!!!!
Seeker

[Artist]

Seeker, I'm not sure what to say. At some point you have to just let go. In a moment of some clarity you will see him in the whole. Not good or evil but like all of us a mix of both. There is the man you feel for and the one who now revolts you. they are the same. There will come a time of forgiving. by forgiving him you are also forgiving yourself. I know that sounds rather new age gibberish But there is some truth to it.

[seeker1950]

Hmm. Artist, in my experience, the "forgiving" is minimal. I have had the experience of moving beyond and not caring one way or another about the man, andI suspect it will be the same with this one...devoid of forgiveness. I realize that sounds unkind, but it seems necessary to regain my dignity.
Seeker

well, in my experience, it depends upon what you see as "your dignity"....if that means, returning to your old self (who ran barefoot through the grass, yelling, "wooooohooooooooo, i'm finally free of the ___________") or if it means, a whole new self, ("well, i am certainly glad to see that i've moved on, as has he". ), then, whatever gets you through the night, works for me. pat

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Fay (Pat)...I'm a Patty, LOL..(real name)...
I don't think forgiveness is appropriate in this instance. I am a very forgiving person by nature, but the scenarios that have replayed in my head during the past couple of months show I was deceived, and used! In my previous experience, it won't leave me bitter, just indifferent...which is a blessed thing!
Seeker

[seeker1950]

Today I felt no "revulsion"....no anger, and not reallly any lingering thoughts of any kind!!! Whew! That was a fast transition, but I was expecting to ride it out no matter how long the thoughts remained. I am so relieved to reach this "stage" of recovery.
seeker