Addicted to love..

I haven't had a romantic relationship for 5 years. I'm older, been married for 20 years, then divorced and tried the singles' scene. After many disastrous attempts at bonding with fellas, and subseqent long periods of sad recovery at the endings (I'm talking YEARS from each), I finally decided to abstain from attempting and see how I did solo.

I'm only sharing this because in retropsect, I realize I was addicted, I mean ADDICTED, to the idea of love. I wanted that high which comes with the initial attraction. I realize now that this is something only temporary, which really doesn't last.

I admire those couples which have that something extra which allows them to stay in the relationship. I really think our conditioning and society promotes the myth that romantic love is the be all and end all, when, in reality, it is a biological urge, a mating ritual. Sorry for the cynical view, but it comes from long experience, and I would like to hear from others' experiences here on their take on this.
Patty

M. Scott Peck, M.D., in The Road Less Traveled, defines love as: "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."

There certainly is nothing romantic about that definition of love. But as you note, the hormones do not rage on forever. To make an effort to foster growth in a relationship, both our own and another's, is the soul of the matter.

Ah, yes, Byz, I have read, re-read, and even memorized much of the passages from Peck's book. And it was not from a current state of mind, but from the perspective of recognizing my preoccupation with a drug-like addiction to the initial stages of "love" that I posted this thread.
I'm not sure if my perception was a valid one from the standpoint of youth and hormones, or one stemming from a dysfuntional upbringing with regard to the love relationship. That is why I asked for feedback. Either way, I seem bo have moved beyond the need for it.

Your thread could just as well be titled Addicted to happiness. When we are in love, real love, we are happy. That is a combination of chemistry and being loved and giving love in return. Who doesn't like that? If we accept 9 parts bad to get that 1 part to feel good, maybe thats an addiction to love that doesn't benefit us, but loving that specific feeling you mention I think is universal. All too often though the package deal isn't what we want.