[Shadowsinsideme]

I don't know that anyone will want to read this. I'll make it as short as i can...

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I'm 18 and he is 23. We have been living together for about 6 months. Only i feel more like i am raising a child rather than living with my boyfriend. He is very irrisponsible and insensitive. This is a huge problem for me, because i have schizophrenia, so i, myself have problems keeping up with my responsibilities--due to the negative symptoms. Up until recently, i was unable to work because i had a relapse and was back in the hospital and was having paranoid delusions, hallucinations, extream negative symptoms, etc. I recently came out of that relapse, only this doesn't mean i am completly symptom-free. I still have paranoia, some hallucinations, thought disruptions,and mild negative symptoms. I have been thinking about finding a part-time job, only im afraid i will only relapse again and have to quit. I already feel like im starting to have another relapse.

so anyways. He has a job and is making $10 an hour cash. This seems to be the only responsible thing he can do. Other then that, he is like a little child. I am constantly cleaning up after him, cleaning our apartment, and nothing i say really seems to get through to him. I don't expect him to do very much cleaning, since he has the job and i stay home all day long, but i do expect him to clean up after himself a little bit, like do some dishes and such. It's come down to me having to yell and scream at him to get him to put one dish into the dishwasher. I try to keep our place clean, but i constantly give up, because it's very hard to keep a little apartment clean, when your boyfriend goes around messing it up and doesn't help clean up at all.

He's also very insensitive, but of coarse, he doesn't think so, and doesn't seem to think that some of the things he does are really a big deal. For example, one night, we were watching a movie together. When we were about halfway through the movie, he suddenly got up and said he was going to go over to our neighbore's house to talk to him for a few minutes. I was annoyed at this point, since we had been watching this movie together, and suddenly he wanted to leave. So i told him right then and there that i really didn't want him going over to our neighbore's because i wanted to watch the movie with him. He went anyways, but he promised that he would be back in 10-20 minutes.....he didn't come back for 5 hours.
....he constantly does things like this, only he has improved a little bit because i get so upset and yell at him and such when he does these kinds of things. Yet, he still doesn't seem to realize how insensitive he is being and always just tells me i am overreacting and such.

The other problem i'm having, is that he has changed a lot over the last 5 months. We use to be a lot alike, but now it seems i have trouble thinking of anything that we have in common. He use to share similar 'religious' beliefs with me, which was something i really admired about him, but recently, he has completly changed his beliefs and has decided to become a born-again christian. I'm not trying to sound like there is anything wrong with that. And of coarse, he has the right to believe whatever he wants, but it's just a little disapointing to me, since, it has completly changed him from the person i fell in love with. It also gets very irritating when he starts preaching to me...it makes me feel like he is trying to force his beliefs on me. Being schizophrenic and all, religion is a very touchy subject for me--i get real paranoid/delusional about such things, so that makes it even worse.

I just really don't know what to do about all this. I really feel like i hate him sometimes, but other times, i really love him and he can be a very caring, loving guy a lot of the time.
And he doesn't understand my 'condition' (schizophrenia) at all, even though he says he does, but really, it's obvious he doesn't.

So im just hoping that maybe someone will have any advice/tips they can offer. Is there something i could do that might really get through to him? I feel like i've tried everything. I've tried talking it out with him, telling him how i feel, i've tried screaming and yelling, i've tried ignoring him...what else can a do?

-Becka

[Artist]

Shadow, I hope you can talk to a professional about this. Your problems aren't all that untypical for a young couple. the 5 hours away from the home when you were watching a movie bothers me a lot. Get some help and maybe the two of you can work things out.

[seeker1950]

Shadow, in my opinion, you are too young to be dealing with all of this, especially in light of your psychological problems. I agree with Artist that some help for you is in order, but also I am wondering if you don't need to get away from the "manchild."
Seeker

[mavis]

You need to stop shouting and say to him that you want to talk to him seriously - without interruptions. Then tell him all the issues you mentioned on this website. Then you must ask him what he has to say and you must listen. Above all, you must decide where you are going in life and if you can share a life together.Both of you must accommodate each others plans. If he will not talk to you properly or if both of you cannot work out plans for the future together, then you must seriously consider if you should stay in the relationship at all. After all, the situation is causing you stress and while you are with him, you are not meeting anybody else. Have you considered trying to get some kind of work? This would improve your self esteem and get your mind off the relationship - at least some of the time.