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  #1  
Old Apr 11, 2010, 07:19 PM
MayaniiAlarum Hay MayaniiAlarum Hay is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2010
Posts: 3
I'm a teenage female and when I'm at home I always wear shorts and some time ago my father used to stare at my legs, mainly at my thighs but nowadays he doesn't do that anymore.
My parents are still together and I have a 5 year old sister.
I have noticed when I lean over to pick something on the floor he stares at my butt.He stares at my breasts too but only a few times.When I'm talking to him he stares at my mouth the entire conversation.Once when I was talking to him I was wearing a baggy t-shirt, I bent and he could see my bare breasts because the t-shirt was really baggy and I was not wearing a bra but I had not realized that he was getting to see my breast, when I looked at his face and saw that he was really looking at my breasts he looked at my face and laughed at me.I'm ugly,so I really don't know why my dad would be staring at me.
I spent last christmas at home with my family only and I was wearing a short and tight dress and when he saw me wearing that dress he got nervous as if he was embarassed with my presence just because of the type of dress that I was wearing.Once when I was 15 years old and me and my dad were walking in the street he said that I had reached a good age to hang out with him,only me and him.I don't know what he meant by that,I don't understand.
When I reached age of 8 my father forbade me from sitting on his lap,he said that it was inappropriate and I have never sat on his lap since then.
I wear revealing clothes inside my house but I don't wear revealing clothes outside my house and I would never do it.I just don't feel comfortable doing it.I think that no girl should be worried about what types of chlothes she should wear around her father because it's her father and not a stranger,so I don't intend to change the type of clothes that I usually wear around my father.A father is not supposed have sexual thoghts about his daughter even if she's wearing revealing clothes.
I spend most of my time inside my house with my family because I hate going out.
I want to make clear that my dad has developed an habit of looking at my butt everytime I bent and in the begining it didn't bother me but now it bothers me a lot and I wish he would stop doing this.I don't know if he's really attracted to me or if I'm just paranoid.It really doesn't seem that he's attracted to me,he really doesn't act as if he is.Help me because I don't know what to think about tis situation at all.I will not tell anything to my mother because it would spoil everybody's relationship in my family.
I'm not sure if my dad is sexually attracted to me because even with all those looks that he gives me he doesn't seem to be attracted to me at all and he doesn't give me those looks all the time he just gives me those looks some times.My dad is a shy person and I know that he would never do anything harmful to me.He really loves and cares about his family.He has always been a good hardworking man.He is even a bit religious.He is not the type of man who is always horny or who is a perv.I have never seen him looking at any teenage girl or at any woman in the streets or wherever he goes.I'm So Confused!!!!
Could my father be sexually attracted to me?I don't know if I'm just paranoid!!!!
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  #2  
Old Apr 12, 2010, 12:12 AM
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Elysium Elysium is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
I am no expert, but take it from someone who has personally lived through something similar...

This sounds like covert sexual abuse.

I am very concerned with what you have written here. What concerns me the most is that YOU KNOW that what your father is doing is not appropriate behavior and YOU KNOW that it makes you very uncomfortable, yet you still say that you only wear attractive clothing in your home around your father and that you are not interested in changing this behavior.

I'm AM NOT saying this is your fault or your responsibility. IT'S NOT!! However, you know this isn't right and you need to protect yourself. When I hear you say that you know he is looking at you when you bend over yet you attempt to justify and diminish his bad behavior, this says to me that you have lost your drive of self preservation. This is very dangerous. Not just for you, but for your sister as well.

It sounds as if your father has been "grooming" you for sometime on in a covert manner and now he is taking his behavior to a worse level. If he is doing this to you, he WILL do it to your sister, if he isn't already.

You are not at fault. You have done nothing wrong. You don't deserve this treatment from him.

Does your mother see this happening? Is she in the picture? She may see it, but be in denial.

By taking the step to post you are being very strong and very brave. It is the first step in protecting yourself.

You NEED to tell someone about this. Someone who is in a position to help you. Maybe a friends mother or father, or a school teacher or guidance counselor, your doctor, even the police.

I know this is probably very uncomfortable for you and your most likely scared...a lot. I know I was. PLEASE be more mindful about how you dress around your father. Like I said...it is NOT your fault...it's just that if you know he is sick in this way and this is how he reacts to you, I suggest you do what you can to not encourage his inappropriate behavior for your own safety.

Tell someone who can help. You can't get through this alone. We'll all be here for you...but you need to be here for yourself too.

Here's a link with some info:


http://ezinearticles.com/?Sexual-Abu...orms&id=382309
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My Father Is Phisically attracted To Me And I Need Help
Thanks for this!
Belle1979, Typo
  #3  
Old Apr 12, 2010, 10:41 AM
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marjan marjan is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,156
oh my dear....this is really difficult situation....I would suggest you talk to somebody....How is your relationship with your mother? Why don't you talk to her?
Probably, your dad is just happy that you are growing up and he's just admiring you!
However, if you have such feelings, you got to say something before anything bad happens....Just put them in nice words.....do you think you can talk to a doctor or priest or some trusted person? oh god, that's so difficult....still, I think talking to your mother is the best way....
good luck
M.
  #4  
Old Apr 13, 2010, 04:26 PM
TheByzantine
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Quote:
Probably, your dad is just happy that you are growing up and he's just admiring you!
I think MayaniiAlarum Hay is concerned about just how happy and admiring her dad is getting.
Thanks for this!
Belle1979
  #5  
Old Apr 15, 2010, 01:57 PM
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callusedthoughts callusedthoughts is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Posts: 29
Im sorry that this is going on. I was in a similar situation, which is all I will tell you. I never said anything to anyone and because of that things turned out really bad. I understand that you dont want to change what you wear around your house but it seems to me that if you are feeling uncomfertable with how your dad is acting around you then perhaps you should rethink your wardrobe. Also please talk to someone, dont keep it to yourself like I did. I hope that you figure everything out. Good luck...
  #6  
Old Apr 15, 2010, 02:16 PM
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SophiaG SophiaG is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: North East USA
Posts: 1,427
yes I know you dont want to change your wardrobe but you might want to consider it just for self-preservation. =/
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“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron
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