[lorna]

Ok, I have parents that are older folk. I am blessed to have them still. I don't understand why they allow/ or accept my brother leaving for months and I am left always managing their care. I said once, I'm taking a holiday and they just laughed at me. Sometimes I find the care aspect of older parent too hard. Talking with people, some people are better at caring for people than others. I just don't get why it's ok if he leaves me in charge of all this so much. Its overwhelming and I dread it. Just call me Cinderella....

[Belle1979]

Sorry for your situation... but happy for you to still have your parents around.
I think everyone needs a break from what ever situation they are in once in a while... plan your holiday and tell your bother that he will need to step up and care for you parents while you take a well deserved break.

[jenkins09]

I agree with Belle. Why do you feel that you cant assert your position? were you the "caretaker" when you were younger? If you dont take care of you, you will burn out. I take care of my older mom and it can get very tiresome.

Take care of you =)

Hello, lorna. You refer to boy and girl. Are you an adult? Do you live with your parents? Do you have a job. Are there older siblings? Are your parents financially secure?

I agree it is wrong for only you to always be available as caretaker for your parents. My suggestion is to notify your parents, brother and any other siblings you are going on vacation (if you are an adult and working, you can find a place for yourself?).

If your parents are financially secure, they can hire a caretaker. If not, those getting the free ride will need to step up.

Sorry to be so nosy. The questions were intended to help with your decision. Good luck.

[lorna]

One saving grace of all of this is that I'm not living with them. I'm an adult and so is my only sibbling my brother. Its a role reversal situation, where I'm in the caregiver mode, when I'm not all that well myself. I have very recently got some help into the house, cause its too much on me. I have to admit both parents were very hesitant about it. The holiday idea, break idea is something I need to still do. I appreciate everyone's help. Its been a difficult haul, I hope with thinkiing it out here, and with your inputs, I can make my situation better.

Good luck, lorna.

[lorna]

yeah i really need this family dynaics amougst all that I live and deal with, its like unfair

[possum220]

It is unfair that you are expected to look after your parents and your brother isn't. If you aren't well chances are that you may buckle under the strain and then where will your parents be?

Are they physically unwell? Would they qualify for more assistance? Can they afford to pay some-one?

Tell them that you need a holiday - plan it and give them the dates that you will be away. And tell your brother.

Maybe you could visit their doctor that you are unwell and ask them what they think? They will be in more of a position to assess the situation. Often care giving is a long term prospect and really does need realistic planning.

Please check out the Caregivers Support Thread.

[lorna]

I am struggling and that is the truth. Positive thing is we got 2 hours help. Negative, is my the stress is getting to me....I do what I can...

No one can expect any more.