The NPD magnet

In my original post, I said that "I've always been attractive to confident men".

Some of your advice rings true because I do need to learn to consider myself first. But as a child who suffered a decade of sexual, verbal and physical abuse with a mother who pretty much did nothing to stop it, I didn't have much training in that department. I am only trying to understand my role in a relationship with the N. As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango". So if about 1% of the population are abusive Ns and I somehow out of all the people who aren't Ns I tend to end up in a relationships with one, you can bet I'm doing something that invites that type of behavior.

I definitely don't believe all charming and outgoing people are NPDs. I don't dislike NPDs. You won't find anyplace on this forum where I said that. I believe my mother is NPD so clearly I care for people who are or could be NPD.

Nonverbal communication is what I meant by "sending a signal". I meant the things people do or don't say and the boundaries that you fail to set. People communicate without words all the time so I don't agree that I feel that I'm less of a person because I want to to know what those "signals" mean to someone with NPD.