[Umbral_Seraph]

Why is it so important to everyone else that I be in a relationship when I have no desire to be in one? I am perfectly fine with being single and my family and friends know this well, but yet they continue to ask me when I will "find a girl and get married." My parents frequently ask me about children (despite the fact I don't want any). I am sure I some degree of schizoid pd, and T feels I have a mild social phobia. I actually do enjoy being by myself, but no one seems to grasp this no matter how many times I tell them.

[salukigirl]

Just ignore them. Last time I was around my entire family this is what I heard the whole time "you know, jess, youre the last girl in the family who hasnt gotten married yet...." and I said "thats nice to know" lol. Im about to go to grad school and probably wont be done for several more years so why think about marriage? Honestly I think more about having a kid than I do about getting married. My aunt and uncle have been together over 20 years without getting married. Thats just who they are. That doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you. In fact, I think its refreshing to meet someone who isnt obsessed with being in a relationship. People often times underestimate how awesome it is to be single and by yourself sometimes. Do what makes you happy!

[purple_fins]

I'm thinking, they are putting their values, wants/needs on to you.... that's why it's so important to them-- because they are making it about them, in a way.
they probably think how it would feel to them if they were in your place-- instead of thinking how YOU feel in your place.

I think people(ignorantly) do this out of love - they don't wish for you to feel bad, not realizing that you perhaps aren't feeling bad.

I think maybe if you try to look at it that they love and care about you and leave it at that-- then maybe such attitudes are a bit easier to swallow.

I agree with what Salukigirl said--

Do what makes you happy!

best to you
fins

[Perna]

I think lots of people enjoy being with others and want to share what makes them feel good. Humans are social animals and it can be hard for people who have trouble being alone to understand that others can enjoy that.

When I get questions like that I ask the person when she/he is going to quit smoking or lose some weight or whatever. Seems to stop the questioning for a bit.

[salukigirl]

Haha Byz - whenever someone comes up to me while I'm smoking and says "you know that stuff will kill you?" I just say "you know that extra weight around your middle will give you diabetes?"

[Umbral_Seraph]

I do ignore them, but like a broken record it never stops; my mom can really bad about this, though I think part of the reason is her only sibling (my uncle) is 40something with no kids and didn't get married until he was 30.

[Sameera]

I learned to ignore the family a long time ago.

At first they didn't agree with my decision to join the military. Then they didn't agree with my choice of wife. Then they didn't think it was a good idea to go back to school at my age (i'll finish in my 40s, not too bad I think). Now they don't agree with my choice of girlfriend.

In short, I stopped worrying about making them happy a long time ago. When I got enough of the questions I simply told them (for pretty much each subject though) that if they kept bringing it up then they could do without me around. Well except with my wife, I plainly said to them that if my wife wasn't good enough for them than they didn't need to see either of us.

It worked for the most part, it seems that they are usually able to keep their opinions to themselves these days.