I could try harder, but I don't

While the main problem in our relationship truly lies with my husband (he has no sex drive), there are so many areas where I'm slacking off. Why do you think I'm doing that? Why am I letting things go instead of continuing to try really hard?

I quit wearing makeup over a year ago. I lost my job, and had no one to impress, so I just quit wearing it. Well, even with my new job, I never started wearing it again. I enjoy not wearing it. But perhaps I should? To look prettier for him? I don't know.

I don't shave my legs every day. I wear pants, not skirts or shorts, so nobody sees my legs. And we never have sex anymore anyways so I guess I don't see the point. But I really should shave, every single day. Just incase he's actually in the mood for once.

My clothes aren't very sexy. But then again, we're broke, so fixing this one probably isn't going to happen because we don't have any money. I also don't even own a single item of lingerie that fits me, because I gained so much weight. But we don't have any money, and lingerie is expensive.

Sometimes I don't wax my eyebrow/lip/chin hairs quite as quickly as I should! Yuck! Not attractive!

I don't keep the house as clean and tidy as it should be. Heck, that's an understatement. This place is a disaster area! I'm a horrible housekeeper. I really should do more. I spend my time playing with my daughter, and surfing the net. Not cleaning. I hate cleaning. I really should do more. We both work full-time, it should be split equally. He does plenty - he cleans up the dog crap, takes out the garbage, and more. I need to do my fair share, but I don't.

I'm trying to lose weight. I've actually lost 30 pounds so far, still have 70 to go. But I'm a binge eater, of course, so we know that's an issue....but then why don't I exercise? Being a binge eater doesn't preclude me from exercising. What's holding me back from doing a little workout?

We're trying to get out of debt. Yet I keep spending money on stupid little things. Like fast food, or little crap I don't need. Why??

There are so many ways I could really improve our marriage and make myself more attractive to him and yet I just don't. What am I doing?

I used to overeat/binge all the time. I hated myself and the sick cycle of overeating, then feeling shame and guilt, caused me to repeat the cycle all over again. I went into therapy and began to address my childhood issues that caused me to feel inadequate and worthless.

From reading your post, I am going to venture a guess and say you dont feel very good about yourself. You have let yourself go, dont pay attention to hygeine, and avoid doing the things you know could improve your relationship. You know, if you feel like crap about yourself, your husband will pick up on this and could be the cause of the low sex drive.

His low sex drive could also be hormonal, stress related or maybe he feels you dont desire him. Have you approached him and asked about what you both could do to put the spark back into your marriage? I hope you find some resolution.

When was the last time you had a physical, Martina?