[salukigirl]

So you guys know that my bf and I moved down to AR. Well he has been looking for a job and cant find one. Its been about 2 weeks now that he has been unemployed. So I thought, Ill start looking for a second job to help out more even though Im already working 40 hrs a week. So I go into a pizza place and get hired on the spot. Then he gets mad at me for getting 2 jobs before he has gotten one? Getting mad at me for trying to help out?

I told him that they were hiring more people and he could get hired right then but he doesnt want to work there. There is another pizza place he used to work at for over 3 years that is hiring every position in the store basically but he wont go there either. So Im the jerk for getting hired on the spot because I can lower my standards simply to pay the bills?!

And he specifically said when I mentioned my concerns about him not getting a job "I would go and work at pizza hut before I would go jobless". So pizza hut is hiring.....but he wont apply. What am I supposed to do? Im intentionally not even paying my bills (i.e. credit cards) and kind of ruining my credit to be able to help him and he gets mad at me? He cant even appreciate that Im pretty much screwing myself over so that he can pay rent. How the hell does that make sense? Im about to just go off on him. Not to mention he has spent money since we moved on stuff like going out to eat and video games but then cant find a job......

And he is completely reliant on me getting a bunch of money for graduation no matter how much I remind him that my family is poor and cant afford to help me out. Im so angry right now. How do I voice this without being naggy and mean?

[Perna]

Sounds like a typical power struggle thing. Why did you move to AR, mostly for you or for him? I wouldn't bug him about the pizza workplace specifically; I can see not working there anymore and being sick of it but I would tell him you would "appreciate" it if he got "some" job at least, even if he gets his second job first :-)

When I feel things are unequal with my husband I remind myself, would I like to do all the work and live alone or would I like to do all the work and have someone I liked by my side :-) You'd still have to support yourself and "take the garbage out" if you're alone.

I would ignore his complaints about your getting two jobs before he gets one, etc., and just reply in a cool manner that he can feel free to go look for and get a job anytime he wants.

[jenkins09]

I'll give you my male perspective and I could be wrong. Is he young(er)? If so, his male ego has taken a blow, because you are now holding down two jobs and he has none. He probably cant put that into words to you or is to embarrassed to say so. I think Perna gave some great advice. Be encouraging as far as his job hunt goes. I wish you well.