My best friend

Lmo is right, it sounds like you do have a pretty good head on your shoulders. You can do better than anyone who makes you hurt and lies to you.
Best wishes for your future :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Well i saw her today... i feel really bad for treating her the same way she treated me, because she doesn't look happy anymore. Shes lost alot of weight since our friendship ended, and shes never smiling, and when she does its fake. I have obviously affected this girl greatly and i don't know what to do. I did end it, but then again, so did she. I really wish we could just forget all this happened and go back to the way things were. Like i have said before i will always love her, is there something wrong with that?

Kyle,
No there is nothing wrong with that. Pretty normal I think. When you love someone for a reason you don't just forget that reason or reasons. When you get hurt or things change you may have to decide it's better for you to be away from that person but it doesn't mean that all those feelings you once had will magically disappear. In time they will fade. You move on with your life. You find someone new that you can give all your love to and have it returned. You still don't forget that you once loved someone but it's not such an important part of your life anymore.
Throwing a big hug your way today :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Thanks for the hugs.... i really need to find someone that i can care about, the same way i cared about her.... it feels like its just building up inside of me and needs to get out. Its hard for me to meet girls, and when i do they only want to be friends. Thats all i am, is the friend.

You will Kyle,
Right now you have been focusing your energy and mind on her and your relationship. When you take a little time to really look around you I have no doubt you will find someone wonderful.

Find some way to let those feelings out in a positive way. Whenever I want to love someone I always find there is someone around me that needs it. I don't mean a romantic relationship but a grandma, aunt, friend, maybe even a stranger that I can give a little extra of myself to and I find that I get a huge personal reward for that.
As for someone to really love.....you'll find her, she's out there. Just keep being yourself.
More hugs!!
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Ya... so today is one of those days where i miss her alot... i've made lots of new friends since things have been rough, and i have trusted 3 more people with a major secret that i have. Since we are in the same "crowd" at school, we sit at the same area, and she decided to tell a bunch of people about something i did one time over at her house (for entertainment only)....(for other peoples not mine lol) and i was like shut the ***** up, and i told her to ***** off, and she listened to me. But i know things about her that could ruin her, but i don't think i could do that to her, cuz i'm better than that.

You know Kyle, I've been srewed over by alot of people in my life and I have secrets that could destroy lives, marriages, hearts. The thing is like you said I am better than that. If someone hurts me it doesn't mean I have to hurt them back. It's just a vicious circle that will only end in pain, pain and more pain.
I am glad you are finding it within yourself to be the better person. It truly does have it's rewards. (besides, for a little while they wait and wonder if you're gonna tell and it's fun to watch them squirm a little, that's payback enough for me :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

k so this crazy (5 letter word) found a way to talk to me... she called my cellphone the other day and i was with a bunch of friends and i was like..ugggg, cuz i didn't wanna talk to her. When i signed on MSN today she started talking to me and i was like ok.... cuz i had her blocked, and she was on a different MSN, which i also blocked. I honestly believe in fate, and i'm not going to pressure things to go either way. If things between us were meant to be, then things will happen. If she just wants to ***** with my mind, then i'm not going to let that happen. I used to thing that she was better than me, but the tables seem to have turned.

Well, we are talking again, she told me she loves me, and i told her i missed her, and she said same her, and then gave me a kiss on the cheek. I don't have feelings for her the way i used to, she shattered that. I think it must have been a good friendship if it could still last through all the [censored] it has... We aren't back to the same way we were though, and I think that maybe, in time, we might be.