[possum63]

I told him that my PTSD leaves me so vulnerable and that my past sexual abuses makes it impossible to trust people 100% and that even includes him (my boyfriend.) His reply - well, only a thief can recognize another thief, so that must mean you are not to be trusted, either, and whatever it is you are paranoid about me, I have every right to be paranoid about you..
What do you suppose this response truly is? Fear on his part? A genuine belief? Or just the fact that he is sick and tired of dealing with my illnesses after five years? I only wish I knew , to understand where he is coming from. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. I walked out and I feel very betrayed and don't even want him around me. Now I am just completely alone. But I guess being alone is better than being with someone who hurts you....

[NuckingFutz]

You are right to leave. He sounds passive agressive. I'd go for emotionally supportive people in your life. Trying to figure this man out is a waste of time. What he said would probably baffle anyone because what he said wasn't logical and it was hurtful.

[sabby]

I agree with NF. You deserve someone who can be more understanding than this one. Sounds like he has his own issues and is emotionally stunted.

I'm sorry he hurt you like that. That was uncalled for.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

(((((((POSSUM)))))))

He hurt you I think because he was hurt. I've said before now, we expect people to understand how we feel and they expect us to understand what they put up with; it is very hard on everyone.

But he shouldn't have said that to you at all. I fully understand your problems with past abuse and how that ruins trust; I've been there myself and it takes a lot to get over. Just know that you are fully supported here

As for understanding the man, you need to decide first if you want to understand him or work on yourself,

Loving thoughts,

Rhia

What your friend said reminds me of a childhood saying: "It takes one to know one."
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_b...ages/1489.html

Take care of yourself.

[justfloating]

What an AWFUL thing to say! That was a totally inappropriate, uncalled-for, callous response. Good for you for walking out. You don't need to waste your time with someone that insensitive and disrespectful. There are plenty of more understanding, compassionate people out there.

[not2exist]

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

You are right to leave. He sounds passive agressive. I'd go for emotionally supportive people in your life. Trying to figure this man out is a waste of time. What he said would probably baffle anyone because what he said wasn't logical and it was hurtful.

I fully agree with him being passive agressive. If you have gotten away it might be a good idea to stay gone as it may turn to a more hurtful relation down the road either later, or much sooner. Once the respect is gone, everything else follows.

[Perna]

I think you have to ask him what he meant, see if you are/are not taking it in a way he did not mean (since you say you don't understand what he meant). If you want to be with him, care for him, I would have a conversation with him about it; tell him how you took it and that you felt hurt from it.

To me it sounds like he was hurt, thought you were saying you could not trust him as himself. Taken that way, it is almost exactly like what he said in return (and how you felt). Telling someone that it is impossible for you to ever trust them can really hurt a person (and implies you know the future/don't believe you will ever get better).

Think about it; if I said to you, up front, "I'm never going to trust you." what would be your reaction? Why/how would you continue in a relationship with me? No matter who you are, how you behave, feel, or what you try to do, you cannot come close to me, I will not let you near.