[not2exist]

My 7yr relationship is the best you can get, one minute. Then the next I totally lose it & wish I was long gone. When she is gone, my mind goes down the "bad" path of fearing the worst as I tend to always see in people.

In a nut shell, when she's happy or optimistic I could not be happier in our life & she is my queen & thats all I need in life.

When she is pissed or negative about life, my mind goes off the charts to itself & I only wish......well I can't say what I wish. It's like a bipolar relationship. It's either awesome & a gift from God, or it's a mistake that need s removed ASAP.

Anyone else like this???

[sunflower227]

Would you want someone who loves you to want to harm you any time you thought negatively? Or would you want them to be there for you to listen and bring comfort?

Keep in mind that there are highs and lows in every relationship. It is my understanding that to get through the deepest lows, both people must work through it together. If there's still a conflict and both people still want to make the relationship work, seeking a well-liked counselor to mediate, even if for just a few sessions, may bring some much needed relief.

Best wishes to you.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hey not2,

that darned relationship again! Have you worked out yet whether you want to be in the relationship? There seems to be too much emphasis on what she wants, what she likes, what she expects and no indication about what makes you happy unless it is tied to her and her happiness.

I think honestly that your priorities are upside down and inside out; while ever we pin our hopes at happiness on somone other than ourself we are destined to be at the mercy of their whims. When we take responsibility for our own happiness we are in control and standing in our own power, that in itself brings us happiness,

Rhian

[sewsweetie28]

Funny, I have been in my relationship for 7 years and you seem to describe me and my boyfirend to a T. WE have 2 kids in the mix as well. I will tell you from experiance that it may not get better and your lives may be like this as long as you are togeather. I have been in individual therapy amd he has come a time or two to try to understand me, but he can't accept that I am up and down and i am insecure and I try my best every day to work on me, but our relationship has severly paied the price. We are on our way to seperation or doing a big 180 and fixing things, but he is soooo mad and frustrated with me that I don't know I we can med this.
What i am trying to say is that unless you accept her and her emotions and can truly live with the way she is then I think you will stay in the same pattern unles you get some help togeather and/or individually. Even then it is anyones guess. They say every day is a new day, but they also say the passt is the best predictor for the future.
This is just my lone experiance, I hope I have helped in some way and I wish you the best of luck. I know how draing it is and all the emotions involved. Only you can change what you are willing to change no matter what decisions that means you have make.

[not2exist]

I do talk to her about us often. She is good @ making changes when need be concerning us. I think she might be holding back on not only saying what she is thinking for whatever reason concerning us. I also think she holds back on making herself happy from time to time either out of her own obligations she feels she has to do or just doesn't want me to get mad. I also think she is a closet case bisexual or maybe just curious but hides it in her mind as she was either told it was wrong or thinks it could end us. I honestly wouldn't care if "another girl," was decent & not some skank / nasty white trash b@tch. That & if she was honest w/ me I would not consider it cheating as it's a whole nether world that i can't compete w/ as a guy so why get mad, I just want her to find her happiness.
Maybe sending her to a "chick bar," would be a good idea, just drop her so she can find out lol. I think I will start another thread on this.