The issue of "dwelling"

How do you know if you are dwelling on an issue or simply trying to solve it or heal from it?

Hey sunflower,

Dwelling is stewing usually with anger sadness or bitterness with no option of an outcome

Solving or healing, there's understanding, forgivness & a smile, followed by peace of mind

Rhia

I would say whether or not you're making any progress in solving/healing would be the difference. If that's too vague, I'd look at what is taking my attention and decide whether others think it is a problem or can be helped by continued working on it (my looks can't be changed so if I'm thinking about scars or physical features I don't like, that would be dwelling).

Basically, I'd say whether I'm thinking about the problem versus have a plan and am working the plan to help me heal/feel better. Just thinking isn't productive, there should be action of some sort in a positive direction.

With relationships, if I'm thinking about the other person and what they are doing and how they are making me feel, etc. that's dwelling; other people don't make us feel, how we perceive things is how me feel so if I'm not looking at my thoughts, perceptions and actions and trying to make myself better (instead of getting the other person to change) then I'm just dwelling on a problem. Dwelling is being "stuck". The only way to get unstuck from something is a lot of hard work and action. You've got to pull your "team" out of the mud. Running around trying to get someone else to push you, isn't working on getting yourself unstuck.

Dwell: to brood; think moodily or anxiously about something.
Solve: puzzle out; find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of.
Planning: thinking, thought, thought process, cerebration, intellection, mentation -- (the process of using your mind to consider something carefully.)
Plan: a series of steps to be carried out or goals to be accomplished.

While I find the definitions somewhat enlightening, I think the difference between dwelling and solving is intent. Dwelling is not intended to accomplish anything positive.

Ultimately, the Serenity Prayer seems to elucidate:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Welcome to the Community, Stella55. I am happy you are optimistic and cheerful.

Be well.