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  #1  
Old Jul 04, 2010, 09:43 PM
Lost_Gal Lost_Gal is offline
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Earlier, I eavesdropped on my bf on the phone with his best friend. He was in the computer room, and he thought I was asleep. The door was part-way open, and I could see the computer screen. He was looking at pictures of him & his friend (drunk party pics) and while he was talking to him, he was masturbating.

I covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream out. They were making plans to go hiking in a few weeks. His friend just got a new truck and they're going into the mountains to camp, drink beer, hike and after what I saw God knows what else!!!

My bf had a troubled past. He was abused & got into trouble, ended up in juvenile centers & jail a couple times. He never talked about his past "inside" and I respected his decision not to talk about it. I know the type of things that potentially go on "on the inside" and I kept those thoughts to myself, I didn't want to upset my man.

Is there any other girls out there who have a bf that likes to "swing both ways"? If so, any input and advice would be ever so appreciated!!!

I just don't know what to do. I am at a complete loss for words. I don't know how to approach this situation.

Also posting in the LBGT forum as well.

Note: went to post in the LGBTQ forum, and since I'm new to the site, don't have access yet.

Last edited by FooZe; Jul 05, 2010 at 01:31 PM. Reason: merged "Note" with earlier post

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  #2  
Old Jul 05, 2010, 04:52 AM
AkAngel AkAngel is offline
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Well, I'm not a girl with a bi bf but let me take a shot at this...

There is an off chance that the conversation, picture and masturbation were unrelated; men are notorious for, as the data says, thinking about sex every seven seconds. It is possible that his friend called at a bad time and he chose different priorities than you would have. Seriously, if he wasn't talking about sex at the time I would seriously consider this - longshot or not.

Second, if you are like most couples, yours is a monogamous relationship. By definition that means one person without a caveat of how many sexes you're into. If he's bi, then you should probably handle it the same way as you would if he was masturbating while talking to a friend of his that happened to be a girl, whatever that would be.
  #3  
Old Jul 05, 2010, 07:09 AM
Lost_Gal Lost_Gal is offline
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While he was masturbating, he was telling him things like "Oh yeah buddy, we're gonna have a REALLY good time!!!" and "I can't wait to get outta here for a few days"

Later on after he was done, he came to bed, and he had an erection. I tried to initiate sex but he said he wasn't interested.

Any other time, he's jumping my bones.
  #4  
Old Jul 05, 2010, 12:39 PM
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Locust Locust is offline
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I agree with the last poster. Although he might be bisexual, it's also possible he just felt aroused at the moment, and it was unrelated to the friend or the pictures. I've had this happen to me before and have done the same thing, when it had nothing to do with the person on the phone, and I'm female.
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  #5  
Old Jul 05, 2010, 12:46 PM
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mommasuesue mommasuesue is offline
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I say confront him before you get hurt !
I am saying this from experience !!!
Thanks for this!
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  #6  
Old Jul 05, 2010, 01:13 PM
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I would also carefully discuss it. If there's no shame, there's no problem talking about it, right?

Rather than "confront" you can share what you saw and your own fears about the relationship. He can't argue with that, and if he feels accused, then it's on him.
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  #7  
Old Jul 07, 2010, 08:16 PM
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acrazynao acrazynao is offline
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talk with him about it. it might not be your fantasy, but many women would love to have a guy that was also into guys so that a 3some could happen. just an idea
  #8  
Old Jul 08, 2010, 07:53 AM
lisadhum1 lisadhum1 is offline
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I'm not a doctor but I from my experience - do NOT let this go unconfronted. I would also carefully plan how to bring it up and possibly talk with a professional first. Now, based on the information you have given I would highly suspect it was more innocent than you think but... if he's had a sorted past and if he has been diagnosed with Bipolar or Borderline, this could be an identity issue that he's been dealing with all his life.

Or he simply could bisexual and there's nothing wrong with that. If you want to talk more in depth, PM me. I have a lot of in sight into this.
  #9  
Old Jul 09, 2010, 03:42 AM
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Rhiannonsmoon Rhiannonsmoon is offline
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Many men uphold the "normal" family life while living their fantasy in secret but whatever his desires are he has a repsonsibility to you to preserve your health that is why you need to discuss this with him; be prepared for an outcome you may not like but at least you will know and can make decisions accordingly,

Don't place your self at risk

Rhia
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  #10  
Old Jul 09, 2010, 10:42 PM
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jenkins09 jenkins09 is offline
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I'm a male and I find that quite weird that he would be chatting up a buddy, whilst looking at pictures of him on a PC and masturbating..and it not be related! If nothing else, ask him for your safety. If he is having sex with men, you need to know. What if hes not using protection? confrontation isnt getting in someones grill and being harsh, just approach him with what you saw and heard and let him explain.
  #11  
Old Jul 09, 2010, 11:03 PM
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El-ahrairah El-ahrairah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost_Gal View Post
While he was masturbating, he was telling him things like "Oh yeah buddy, we're gonna have a REALLY good time!!!" and "I can't wait to get outta here for a few days"

Later on after he was done, he came to bed, and he had an erection. I tried to initiate sex but he said he wasn't interested.

Any other time, he's jumping my bones.
wow... im sorry... I'd really bring this up. I'm a bisexual gf with a straight bf and I assure him I wouldn't do anything with ANYONE because we have a monogamous relationship. Talk to him about it though.. you don't wanna catch anything if he's sneaking around, whether with a girl or a guy... you know?
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