[normalita]

I am here to introduce myself and to get some answers. My situation. Is like many it involves things that my mother in law did over 30 years ago. My husband can not get. Past it....so we live with it every day. Will try to be breif. Years. Ago my husbanbds father died very suddenly at age. 49. When he died mil sold his business. And everything associated with him was gone. Practically over night. My husband is the oldest and was closer to hisb dad than any of the kids. Dads death was profound to say the least. My hubsband had only been married for 3 years at this time and had a little bbaby....now we have ust lost dad,our job and everything we knew that was right. Mom in law is now free to be just as nasty as she wants. 30 years later it continues and its like it appened yesterday. We have had to work very hard over the years with no hhelp or support of any kind from anyone in the family. We foundb out they are all alcoholics and we have had to shut them out bof our lives as well. My husband blames all our troubles on the fact that we got no help long. Ago....even though we jave done oretty well all by ourselves my propblem is now thatb the economy has slowed. Our business is not what it could be and my husand and I are vhaving more and more fights...I cry a lot. And I am thinking of leaving him. Its not something I want. To do...but - need to if I want to be happy. We Also just bought a new truck and traded my car in on it....so both vehicles are his....how do I leave NowV. I don't have transportation. I need help.

[Yoda]

This sounds very complex. I don't have the answers but I can listen.

In my mind it is good if a person or people can know the past problems that have caused them difficulty. But you and your husband need to focus also on today and choose behaviors that can take your life where you want to go. It is tough that your husband has been through so much. No doubt it is hard to get past it all. But somehow he has to get past it or he will remain stuck. How does he get there? I dunno. Therapy has helped me.

If you are thinking of leaving him it sounds as if you want change for your life. Again I would suggest therapy. Also a lawyer. That would help you with those issues like both vehicles in his name.

I wish you the best in whatever decisions you make.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

(((Normalita)))

Is there really no hope or are you just at stretching point? Are your issues really related to mother and father in law or are you just bending under the strain of the economic situation?

Time to say that you need a vehicle, and that you are, as he is, very stressed and unhappy right now.

Is it truly the marriage or is it money and business? If you really don't want to go then you don't want to go...and if the stress of the business was removed and your husband were to sell the business and be retained as an employee would the stress be less or more?

Just some thoughts...

Rhiannon