[AmieW]

I met someone online, then we met in person. As things will sometimes go, I didn't really like this person IRL. Nevertheless, they liked me and now they keep pushing themselves into my life. They are very nice, nothing wrong with them, they are just not someone I want to be friends with. I don't want to go the avoidance route, as I know how hurtful that can be, but how do you tell someone you just don't want them in your life, especially when there is really nothing wrong with them?

Why not simply tell the person you do not feel a connection and the person would be better served directing his attention elsewhere?

[Elana05]

Hi Amie W,
I agree with Byz. It doesn't help anyone to keep up communication out of guilt. There is a reason this isn't working for you, it's ok to honor that. I think if you are gentle but direct you then have every right to go the avoidence route afterwards. You aren't being deceiving, you are being honest. I am kind of going through the same thing right now with an old friend, actually. We were very close, but she has said and done some things to hurt me and I can't seem to let go. So for my own mhealth I am trying to limit my contact. It's not easy. But it is important to draw boundaries when we need to. Or I'm trying to learn that too anyway.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

You have really good advice here AmieW. Guilt relationships are not the ideal thing to have in your life; and look at the usual guilt trips we have...family members...that is where the guilt starts and as an adult you don't have to do the guilt trips any longer.

Tell them with consideration that you just do not feel the connection as Elana has offered; it really is the best route in the long run...the only other way is avoidance and that isn't really that healthy,

Rhiannon