[kittenmitten]

I had met the love of my life who makes me feel wonderful every single day. I had ungone abuse 3 years back for 7 years of my life with a mother who was an everyday alcoholic and a step father who was an outraging man who yelled and was as well an alcoholic. Since the abuse I have been living with my Grandparents who have been caring every step of the way. However, since I have met this charming man of almost 8 months my Grandmother refuses to like him. He has been nothing but nice to her and decent. My grandfather on the other hand absolutely likes him! He thinks he is a charming man with bright future and a loving boy. My boyfriend is coming to pick me up December 4th to spend Christmas and Newyears with him and his family. I have been very happy to meet them. My Grandmother has many illnesses and always worries. My Grandfather tells me though to not say much about my boyfriend and the trip December to her. When I say I love this man, I love him with every inch of my heart. Within these 8 months he has been a dream come true. He even went as far as explaining to my Grandfather how much he loves me and see's my values. I have lost my hair in the past and my teeth are all redone in porclin due to past neglect. Still this man does not see me for the outside and in no way will I ever leave him. Its hard to believe, that I know. I just wish I could get my Grandmother to understand and to except this like my Grandfather does. Which he think if I am happy then thats all that should matter. I am not a stupid person, I know the risks and I know not to get pregnent. I lived with a mother who showed me everything I shouldn't do in life. Please, I just need advice on how to at least get her into a decent calm stage, to trust me as her Grandaughter. I am a virgin and almost 20 years old. I have never kissed a boy and used the love with any boy I had been with. I was raped when I was little but got away from the man. Ever since then I have been afraid of males and finaly found someone who I can tell anything to! I can speak of my worries and tell him everything! So I ask of you, please help.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello kittenmitten

I can understand the issue with your grandmother and I think that is what you want some advice about.

If you're nearly 20 you are grown up and are old enough to make your won decisions. I think however that your grandmother doesn't see you as grown up...grandmothers never do...gosh they don't even see their kids as grown ups.

But you need to sit down with your grandmother and tell her that you are being hurt be her refusal to even try to get to know him let alone like him.

Tell her you are old enough and that you have had her example to show you what is right and to show you how to make sensible decisions. Let her know that you love her so dearly and that you are very grateful for all the love she has showered on you; but now it is time for you to be happy with this man. Let her know that you won't do anything silly and that you respect yourself well.

I think she needs reassurance that everything is going to be ok. And if she is a sufferer of panic and anxiety it is not going to be easy for her, so try to go very gently,

Rhiannon

[kittenmitten]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hello kittenmitten

I can understand the issue with your grandmother and I think that is what you want some advice about.

If you're nearly 20 you are grown up and are old enough to make your won decisions. I think however that your grandmother doesn't see you as grown up...grandmothers never do...gosh they don't even see their kids as grown ups.

But you need to sit down with your grandmother and tell her that you are being hurt be her refusal to even try to get to know him let alone like him.

Tell her you are old enough and that you have had her example to show you what is right and to show you how to make sensible decisions. Let her know that you love her so dearly and that you are very grateful for all the love she has showered on you; but now it is time for you to be happy with this man. Let her know that you won't do anything silly and that you respect yourself well.

I think she needs reassurance that everything is going to be ok. And if she is a sufferer of panic and anxiety it is not going to be easy for her, so try to go very gently,

Rhiannon

thank you so much! I really needed someone's advice and I will do just as you told. Again thank you. From the bottom of my heart.