Embarrassed!!

I have a good online friend that i love a lot..and i`m in love with. We have been very close on and off, never met in real life and talked a lot about deep stuff..singing, spirituality and our inner world. We are pretty alike in our interest in all that. and even in our life... generally...

Yesterday i sent him text message his cell phone. asking if he wants to come talk on Skype.

He told me : "I would love to talk to you but i am out. if you want to can call me to this number."

I came to my phone at home but it didn`t work...

so he told me "o.k call me whenever you like/can"

I wrote him: " to Skype when you are home"

He asked me what time is it where i am.

It was 11 PM...

I told him that i was going to stay up late.

He said "Really? I`ll be out late so it will have to be another time"

i was relatively disappointed because it was a week since our last talk, when he said "i would like to keep in touch with you forever"

I wrote him something that now i regret writing:

"Ugh! I don`t mind getting up but if you don`t feel like it then another time"

He responded with: " o.k we`ll see then i will let you know"

He didn`t call in the end...either did not want to wake me up or came when it was already late his time, was real tired and went to bed.

So now i wonder is it...well...maybe i should have not written
"I don`t mind getting up " ?


...because i know that none of my friends including him wouldn`t get up from sleep JUST to talk to me...so why should i be exposing it to them?

Have i lost my dignity....?

I don't think you did anything wrong....you just put so much thoughts into it....relax and enjoy your friendship.....

I don't think you should feel embarrassed for appearing eager to talk with him.
I 'm wondering if he's uncomfortable with being seen. Have you seen pictures of him? He could be having social anxiety about this - is that possible?

Maybe the "Ugh" and the inflection that might have been taken from it which could be "if you don't feel like it" "then maybe another time?" is the issue?

I find it difficult sometimes to take inflection from written comments online; people may write how they speak but the enunciation and diction is not there. I get really shocked when someone thinks I've tried to offend them. I ask straight questions and try to give straight answers.

But communication is also the responsibility of the person receiving it; if they are in a no so good mood they are going to take what is said as negative or insulting or even rude. You can't be responsible for how he took the message unless you know that when you wrote the message to him that you were being "never mind whatever!" in atittude...Good luck with this

Thank you all so much for your replies. He called me yesterday and we talked a while ...he did not mention it. Seems like things are going fine.

I guess there are certain people that we will trust and other whom we wouldn`t...i am always like this with him: "Should i stust him or not? is he agressiver? or am i projective my agression onto him? lol

I think there's nothing to be embarrassed - there's nothing wrong with that..but I guess the channel of communication had contributed a lot for that not to work out as much as you wanted..It would create a more fruitful friendship if one of you had initiated for meet -up..to know each other better..

---
Greg Cynaumon, PhD

Thank you. yes we want to meet one day...when at least one of us has the resources!

no he has like 100 and something pictures on his FB profile
He has no problem with it.....