[myoasis89]

my bf and I have been dating for 6 months. He is 25 and lives with his parents. Hi parents are thinking of going back to bangaladesh in the summer and he will be living here permanantly to start his life. He asked me last night if I would like to live with him when his parents leave.

My bf has talked about marriage and having kids with me. He is really great with kids and I get the sense that he is definatly a fmaily man.

We are both in college. I ahve a year and a half before I graduate and so does he. He told me he would be able to get a job right away after he graduates.

I've met both of his parents and his mother and I seem to get along great. She respects me and thinks that I am perfect for her son.

I seem to be feeling hot and cold and I'm not sure if this is normal. One moment I'm totally in love with him, and the next I get cold feet. When he mentionned htat we live together when his parents leave...I completely dismissed the topic. I told him I don't beleive in living with someone before getting married or living together at all. He understood and quickly changed the topic and that if I was uncomfortable with it...then he wouldn't force me to do something against my will.

He says he is impatient and his mom told him to be patient. She told him not to distract me from school and just to let things progress...

he wants to see me almost everyday. I like the attention and I'm flattered that someone would take so much interest in me...yet I'm 21 and I feel like I'm being smothered.

he is a great guy and he helped me get over an abusive relaitonship...if it weren't for him I don't know where I would be...

I have insecurities about relationships and I've had abusive parents so I'm a little ancy about someone talking about marriage with me, because I'm afraid that if I believe in that...it amy never happen, and I'll get very dissapointed and upset.

can someone give me someone input on my situation??...has anyone else experienced the same thing??

I'm not very open with my mom so I feel I need a woman's advice...or someone who is a mom who can give guidance...

[luvsthebeach]

Hi, I am a mom of an adult woman. My daughter left home at 18, pregnant to live with and marry a guy with issues. I married at 20 myself, but didn't have children for five years.

Everyone here with have varying opinions and experiences, which is good. You can read them all and in the end decide on your own or even seek counseling.

I feel it's unwise to rush into relationships. Your 20's are your best years to pursue your own dreams and education. Personally, I think you are right to trust your instincts and follow your own values in this case and devote time to yourself.

True love stands the test of time and is always kind and allows the other person to grow. Anyone who puts pressure on you to do something that is life-altering should be looked at twice, and re-evaluated. Think very carefully and follow your own dreams.

By the time you are ready to settle down - you will know it in your heart. Perhaps you are not ready to make that leap now.

[Belle1979]

As luvsthebeach says, trust you instincts. What you are thinking and feeling right now is probably the correct answer.

When I finally moved in with my, now ex, boyfriend, I cried for two weeks.. I thought it was just that it was a big change. Maybe my thoughts/feelings were something I should have been guided by. In saying that I have to say I enjoyed the remainder of the time we did live together (lasted 7 months - total relationship almost 6 years).

Take things as slowly as you need.

[owen2110]

Take your time, don't ever feel pressured, a guy who is worth it willl wait

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by luvsthebeach

Anyone who puts pressure on you to do something that is life-altering should be looked at twice, and re-evaluated. Think very carefully and follow your own dreams.

I don't think he's put pressure on her, so telling her to look at things twice is misleading. This isn't your daughter and she doesn't seem to be in an abusive relationtship, in fact this guy got her over one.

The issue here is trust and fear. He obviously said he didn't want to pressure you into something you didn't want to do, so he is trustworthy because he is happy for you to wait and see what develops.

Enjoy what you have for now and see if it deveops further as you develop further. You're young and have plenty of time. As the old addage goes "Act in haste, repent at leisure",

Rhiannon

[Alluring Lady]

I have been in that situation too. I have lived in with my bf before for 6 months before we get married. We have been through ups and downs also. But because our love for each other is greater above all. We have learned to manage everything and survived. Just think of better way to distress yourself.

[Alluring Lady]

I have been in that situation also. I have lived in with my boyfriend (who is my husband now) for 6 months before we got married. We been through ups and downs in our relationship. But, with our great love for each other, we have learned to manage everything. You just need to think out of the box not to feel pressure at all.

[REINE D AMOUR]

it is great to find someone who loves you like your bf but 6 months is nothing ,and living with him now is not a good idea