[Jenn1fer82]

In only a few days I'll be going to court to give my bf emotional support to face his ex in court. She is the mother of his four children and finally they are resolving all the issues that should have been dealt with a long time ago. OMG.... when I think about seeing her for the first time in court it just makes my knees buckle. I am so nervous. Worst of all I don't know how my bf will react as he's walking out of that court room. People have told me it is none of my business when it has to come with my bf and his family so I should simply stay out of it. It is easier said than done when he brings his stress into our relationship and our finances is close to non-existence because of child support, lawyer fees and to simply try to live from day to day. From what I know his ex isn't the nicest woman to be around so when I'll see her for the first time in court I can't help it but for my anxiety to go up.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello jennifer,

This must be very stressfull for you. Theres nothing wrong with supporting your bf through this time, but if he is reactionary then it is probably a good thing you are there with him so that you can talk him into not reacting.

If he is going to be seeing his children then it is very much your business because they will be seeing you too and you will be in their lives, not to mention living with their dad.

Just be very quietly self composed and dignified and talk him into being the same way. She may not expect that but that won't matter. Being the best you can be in every situation is the best thing to do...

Good luck,

Rhiannon

I would not go to court as it could upset/annoy the mum more than she already is. In my mind you have no say in anything its between the parents of the children and best if you stay out of it. If you don't like contributing towards legal cost or whatever then say so to your boyfriend.

If my ex hubby had a girlfriend who thought she had a say in anything towards the children or even turned up at court I would ask her to leave as its nothing to do with her.

I am talking from an emotional point of view not a logical one, if you want to keep the peace I would not go.

This is just my thoughts.

Emotionally, yes it has a lot to do with you. However, as teh courts see it, you are not in the picture. I agree with Tish in that your appearance, in the courtroom would be upsetting for the family unit involved. You can wait outside the court, out of the ex's view. Arrange to meet your boyfriend at a location after the hearing. If he is upset, let him vent. You can be a sounding board for hi,.

You said the financial costs of child support and legal fees are difficult? Understandably so but look at it this way...it shows he is responsible to his children. My ex never paid much to his kids and even moved to Sweden to get our of the courts tracking him, since Sweden is one country that does not participate in retrieving dead beat dads. The stresses of finance are difficult on anybody.The knowledge that eh lives up to his obligations shows a strong positive trait about him. Appreciate it.

Meanwhile, stay strong for yourself first hun. I admire your support for him and I am certian he appreciates it too. As the girlfriend, you have to walk a fine line. I applaud you hun. Keep your chin up.