[bridgie]

I have felt alone all day. I physically have not been. And to a certain degree emotionally either. I do feel the conversation aspect with my guy has been lacking extremely today. I have been reaching out trying to talk receiving minimal responses. I am hating being in seperate towns and not having close contact. Its making me feel very lonely and sad. I don't know if this long distance thing is going to work. My last relationship was long distance and it took its toll on me. It was very hard. I'm wondering if I can do it again. I'm not so sure I can. I have already gone back and forth with the whole being in a relationship and being single. Certain times its the greatest thing and other times I am so unsure. I am sad. I am depressed and am not near anyone that cares. I am lonely. It is not possible for me to just go over or for him to just come over I guess I need a friend. I am away from everyone right now. My mind isn't clear. I would love to have the company of my new beau. It just isn't possible at the moment and it won't always be when I need it. I need to accept that too. I have always needed to accept that at times it is just me. Funny thing is its always just me. Never is anyone around when I need them. When I'm feeling fine they are there. Or so it seems. Maybe they aren't. I am a bit confused as to what I even really need. Is it someone to talk to is it physical contact. Maybe I do want to be alone. Maybe I choose to isolate myself. I don't know there is so much. I want to talk to my guy so much right now but it is not possible. Being in another town I don't even really know when I get to. Contact is so minimal. I know this is full of contradictions. I'm a bit lost. I keep thinking that if I can't have the contact that there may never be a way for me to really talk. If we barely talk now what are we really. Maybe I'm not even in a relationship and its all in my head. But even that reality could all be in my head. Don't know right now. Lost and sad

[beatbyadifferdrum]

I am sorry you are feeling lonely. Sending a cyber hug!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello bridgie,

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "When I'm feeling fine they are there".

This indicates to me (me only so it's only an opinion), that you only get down when you are alone or having people around you is what makes you feel fine or good.

Based on that opinon I think (and this is a thought not a diagnosis) that you may place more importance on others and rely on everything outside of yourself for a feeling of wellbeing. To me and again this is a thought not a diagnosis that it would be beneficial to develop ways of self communication and self motivation which place light and emphasis on your positives and on the good that you do.

You are so highly valued here at pc bridgie, everyone loves you and cares about your support and input, I value the messages you give to others because they have some very important messages for me in there.

I promise you that when you communicate on here, there are many more people than those who reply, who take on the advice and the support you give to the OP. I'm not stroking your ego here, I am telling you what I honestly believe to be true. You're gentle, kind, caring, funny at the right times and always supportive and you just don't see how giving you are, and I feel that the amount of giving does not balance with the amount you receive, and because of that defecit you become down and sad, looking for at least some valdation of your worth, in a relationship which by its very nature is keeping you apart and seperated from the closeness, caring, conversation and validation you need.

It would be lovely if your bf lived close to you, because I think you need that closeness. I take my hat off to you though because there is no way I could sustain a long distance relationship,

Rhiannon