[heymoe]

For 17 years I trusted my husband he broke that trust last year with lies and phone calls to an ex lover after a few months I got over it. But a year later did it again, well getting in touch with an ex girlfriend that he hasn't seen in 35 years on line and calling another old female friend and lying about it and covering it up deleting calls and emails from both of these women. He can not understand that I no longer trust him he says they mean nothing to him but in ending communication with them he said it was because I am crazy. He showed me the emails that he sent and he really put me down he could have left it simple but he chose to tear into me. He doesn't think he did anything wrong but if he was hiding it I feel he thought it was wrong. We agreed after the first woman no more old girlfriends on fb and no phone calls. He says he forgot. Am I being too jealous I told him he can keep them as friends as long as he keeps it online but I really don't believe he will.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello heymoe,

I think we have discussed this already and there have been quite a lot of answers to your other thread.

The only thing I can say is that if you have lost trust and he has treated you badly then only you can decide what you want to do. Jealousy is a dreadful ailment and I've experienced it and didn't like it at all.

I'm personally not impressed at all about the way he spoke about you to those women. He basically left it open and that the only reason he cut contact was because of your "crazy" jealousy, not because he wanted to respect you and your marriage.

I can only offer you my support and tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this,

Take care,

Rhiannon

[lynn P.]

Hi Heymoe and welcome to PC - I'm beginning to think more and more that Facebook and other sites like it, are causing a lot of problems with either bullying or becoming to chummy with the opposite sex. I don't blame you for being upset with him communicating with old flames, especially since he's bad mouthing you - that's a no no.

A person's not supposed to bad mouth their spouse to anyone. If he has problems with you, he needs to deal them out with you, or speak to a counselor. Something is definitely missing if he's enjoying convos with other women. The moment he talks about you, is the moment he opens the door of 'emotional intimacy' with those women. He's obviously getting emotional 'stroking' from them when he should be getting it from you.

I think you both need to sit down and nicely discuss how to get that excitement back between you both. Maybe he can send you a nice email and put some effort into pleasing you and vice a versa. I'm not sure how you're going to trust him again is this regard - maybe leave his Facebook setting completely open. If he deletes them only out of fear, then he'll just end up more secretive. I think what would help, is if you both work on igniting the flames between you and stroke each other emotionally. Ask him if he would be comfortable with you starting up convo's with old flames??

[madisgram]

heymoe, it sounds like he's a repeat offender. i don't believe he's given you any good reason to trust him. so that brings us to what do you want to do about it? stay and grin and bear it or leave him. don't know your situation of factors there but if it were me, i'd leave him.

[heymoe]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hello heymoe,

I think we have discussed this already and there have been quite a lot of answers to your other thread.

The only thing I can say is that if you have lost trust and he has treated you badly then only you can decide what you want to do. Jealousy is a dreadful ailment and I've experienced it and didn't like it at all.

I'm personally not impressed at all about the way he spoke about you to those women. He basically left it open and that the only reason he cut contact was because of your "crazy" jealousy, not because he wanted to respect you and your marriage.

I can only offer you my support and tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this,

Take care,

Rhiannon

sorry i guess i am trying to get somebody to give me his side no one has here or in the real world

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by heymoe

sorry i guess i am trying to get somebody to give me his side no one has here or in the real world

I think my post gives you an idea of what he's looking for, when he speaks to these women. He's looking for emotional stroking and he likes that newness. Imagine if you were talking to an old flame or someone who you like - sparks start flying. So you and he need to decide if you can ignite those sparks so he doesn't feel the need to go else where. You have to figure out - is he just a man who needs a little more attention or is he a jerk. I really feel for you.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by heymoe

sorry i guess i am trying to get somebody to give me his side no one has here or in the real world

No need to be sorry. But you do have responses to the same issue in another thread