[vampyre love]

My friend i always questioning me about my past, she always asks about: my relationships, my best friends death and my boyfriends death. I have OCD, PTSD and bipolar disorder, my friend doesn't get that I can't talk about these things, I tell her I can't talk about it, I too hard. But sometimes when she asks me it triggers flashbacks and i tell her and then the next day she will ask me again. It is really annoying me beacuse everyone else gets that i dont want to talk about anything to do with those subjects. the time before Last she was bothering me about my boyfriends death it was on the anaversary, and now all i want to do is burst out into tears. why doesn't my friend get it?

were 13 not adults.

[Perna]

I suspect your friend has not had much experience with loss yet or had many around her to teach her "manners" when dealing with other people's subjects and lives. I think you will have to tell her right out, set a boundary, that she is not to ask you questions about your past or that you will have to "get up and leave". It may even take doing as you say you will (whether you get up and leave her or have her go home if she's at your house or call an adult in to explain to her or just are firm/angry at her, letting her know how much she is annoying you and causing you pain). I think you have to explain to her though, so she does understand. You have to tell her that it annoys and hurts you, she can't know that "automatically". A lot of people who you believe do "know" that, don't really, they're just afraid, do not like where it takes them. Your friend does not mean harm but does not know that it is hurting you. Tell her straight out, that her questions make you worse and cause you worry and pain. Most "friends" aren't going to want to cause pain in their friends, even for their own education/curiosity.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello love,

I agree with perna. Some people have to be given a very clear line and told not to cross it. I can understand her curiosity, but it is bordering on morbid curosity and I don't think it is good for either one of you. You will talk about it when & if you are ready and not before; your friend needs to understand that so let her know clearly these subjects are out of bounds

Rhiannon

[eskielover]

some people have not been taught to be sensitive of others feelings by their parents or care takers....or maybe a situation like that has never come up in her life before so she hasn't been taught the polite, sensitive way of handling the subject matter of death with the person who is very closely effected by it.

This sounds like a good chance for you to educate her in the proper way to deal with people who have experienced death of someone close to them & let her know that it's not appropriate to bring up the subject matter until the person themselves is able to talk about it. Let her know that you understand her curiosity, but that most of the time when the person doesn't want to talk about it it's because it's too painful to talk about.

She may be embarrassed about her insensitivity, so let her know that you understand that she just hasn't had any experience being around situations like that & it's ok to learn the need to be sensitive, we all have to learn sometime......need to make her feel ok with the learning process of being sensitive.....we all have to start sometime if parents haven't had the opportunity by that point.