[hoping4best]

My ex-bf who had got married (now divorced) after breaking up with me, has contacted me again. It isnt a very passionate type of contact but the meaning is clear. . .seems like he wil patch up with me if i intend to.

[hoping4best]

But apparantly he is way too content with his life at present and is very much enjoying "single" status nowadays. This guy has brought me heartache in past and almost NEVER stood by me. But when he contacted me after getting divorced,he said he loves me.

[NuckingFutz]

So how do you feel about all of this?

[hoping4best]

I dont really feel attracted to him THAT WAY at all. Its just that we connect strangely some level,i dont know what that is. I feel that there is quite an understanding between us, but at the same time i dont trust him very much and i dont think that he really loves me.

[hoping4best]

Everyone likes to be loved and care for.and in my present situation when im already suffering pain of rejection from my recent 'crush'...if this Ex shows a bit of affection it somehows relieves me of pain a small bit atleast.

[hoping4best]

Should i give him another chance? Or should i shunt him out of my life COMPLETELY? I dont seem capable of completely avoiding him though. im so confused.

[NuckingFutz]

Things in life are rarely one way or the other. I would honor your own feelings above his needs and not patch things up with someone who has hurt you in the past simply to make your current emotional pain hurt less. It just puts the pain on hold. You will need to deal with it at some point though. Maybe we can help you with that!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((jaikhan))))

I agree strongly with what NF has said here. It is tempting as you said to have your head turned when you have had your heart broken. To have someone to turn to and hold you when you feel bad.

But this guy is a problem for you and he has never shown that he loves you.

When I was young I had a boyfriend, he was older than me and I wasn't prepared to give him sex. He accepted that and said that he loved me and respected me. He was my first love.

On my birthday he came to me to tell me he was getting married (at 17) because he had made a girl pregnant. I was devastated I just did not know where to put myself but I was broken.

I was best friends with his sister so it wasn't as if I wouldn't see him around. I have trusted only one man since and that is my dad. Sorry two I trust DJ though I don't 100% trust the relationship; I guess I never got over that first betrayal.

But what I'm saying is that having a heart broken makes one vulnerable to future relationships and when they break down it is as if the world has ended.

In truth we are strong and it is a matter of getting past the pain and relying on ourself rather than relying on something external like a relationship or a man to complete us.

I hope you don't go back there jai, you deserve better and if you hold out you will get it.

Take care, many hugs to you dear friend,

Rhiannon

[hoping4best]

@rhainnon n NF... Thankyou! I needed to know that im doing the rite thing by staying away from him. I have been putting up quite sad status updates on fb today and this man hasnt asked me at all whats bothering me! He was active on fb but didnt ask me. So he doesnt love me im sure about it now!

[NuckingFutz]

Bottom line is not to pay attention so much as paying attention to what he does. Sometimes the two are so different. Hope you are doing better.

[hoping4best]

Im feeling depressed. I have removed him from fb and he hasnt even asked me the reason. He hasnt said anything at all. Why do men say they love us when they dont mean it? i know he is getting on well with his life.

[Belle1979]

((((((((jiakhan))))))))

Men are silly, stupid and thoughtless..