[jbug]

How do I get my mom to quit telling me what to do? I get ready to do my chores and she tells me to do them as I am doing them. I have told her how much this bothers me and she tells me well I can't see you doing them so I don't know you are doing them. I am not a child I do not need to be told to do my chores. I will do them and get them done. She also tells me how to do my chores as if I don't know how to do them. Yes I make mistakes and may not do them as she does them but they are done. She is driving me nuts and I can't go home because my parents won't let me and I need my wound taken care of twice daily and I can't do it on my own I need someone to do it for me. Home health doesn't come every day just once a week so mom does my wound care. I still need help so have to stay out here. It will be soon that I can go home as my wound is 1 centimeter by 1.3 centimeters.

Jan

[Perna]

Good luck changing your mom When I got married I didn't keep my last name though I was 39 and had my own credit, etc. because my stepmother got all angry and I realized I'd be having her around for another 10-15 years and didn't care that much whether I changed it to my husband's name or not so went with the change to keep the peace.

Make a permanent, detailed, list and print one off each day and then just flash that day's list at her when she starts in on you?

I'm glad you'll be going home soon and will get a little rest from that particular struggle.

[Aunt Donna]

I think our mothers are meant to drive us nuts. Mothers-in-law just add to it. Just letting you know I understand.

[isadora]

Thats my mom too when i have my chores done she tells me that i havent done nothing i get so mad. But thats mothers ! And we still love them.

[salukigirl]

I'm not going to lie....I'm extremely confused by your post. If this is your biological mom you are talking about then suck it up. I am 23 and my mom still does this. I graduated from college with honors and am about to start applying for PhD programs but some times she still talks to me like I am in middle school. That's their job. I hated it years ago but I can guarantee you I will do the same thing with my kids.

Instead of focusing on bad things like that try to focus on the good times you two have together. Also, I'm wondering if maybe now after dealing with this for a while, you are going into those things with the defensive mind set being used to her talking like that. Maybe try consciously calming yourself and thinking of something that puts you in a good mood before you start your chores. You might find you hear her differently and react differently. And, if so, maybe she will react differently towards you too?

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by jbug

It will be soon that I can go home as my wound is 1 centimeter by 1.3 centimeters.

That's great news! Maybe every time your mom gets annoying like that, you can tell yourself that you will soon be home and won't have to listen to her anymore. It's easier to bear these annoyances when the end is in sight. That's the passive "wait it out" approach. If you want to try a "rock the boat" approach, I guess you could just tell her point blank, "mom it really annoys me when you do that and I've told you before. Although you have been really helpful to me with my wound and I appreciate that, I am looking forward to going home so I don't have to listen to you nag me about chores." That's telling it like it is. Some people need to be bluntly spoken to.

Good luck.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by jbug

How do I get my mom to quit telling me what to do? I get ready to do my chores and she tells me to do them as I am doing them. I have told her how much this bothers me and she tells me well I can't see you doing them so I don't know you are doing them. I am not a child I do not need to be told to do my chores. I will do them and get them done. She also tells me how to do my chores as if I don't know how to do them. Yes I make mistakes and may not do them as she does them but they are done. She is driving me nuts and I can't go home because my parents won't let me and I need my wound taken care of twice daily and I can't do it on my own I need someone to do it for me. Home health doesn't come every day just once a week so mom does my wound care. I still need help so have to stay out here. It will be soon that I can go home as my wound is 1 centimeter by 1.3 centimeters.

Jan

Dear Jan Know how frustrating this is for you with the other messages of yours that we've read over the while Parents tend to think we are always 8 no matter what age or how mature we become

Knowing your mother has this habit must really get your goat because you know every day it is the same thing So sorry for that And if it isn't your mom it's your dad We have real compassion for you and hope you can take some nice deep breaths and release the tension and pressure it creates for you because you don't need it at all

Thinking of you

Heleni

OMG, I soo know how you feel! My mom drives me crazy too. Now that I live on my own, I try to limit my interactions with her, because no matter how many times or different ways I tell her how annoying her constant reminders are about the things I need to do or the things she thinks I SHOULD do, she doesn't stop. I hope you're able to keep your cool until you caN go home. I've tried to convince her to go to therapy or go on meds for anxiety (she's high stress and very intense and increases my stress levels by just talking to her). Good luck!

Originally Posted by jbug

How do I get my mom to quit telling me what to do? I get ready to do my chores and she tells me to do them as I am doing them. I have told her how much this bothers me and she tells me well I can't see you doing them so I don't know you are doing them. I am not a child I do not need to be told to do my chores. I will do them and get them done. She also tells me how to do my chores as if I don't know how to do them. Yes I make mistakes and may not do them as she does them but they are done. She is driving me nuts and I can't go home because my parents won't let me and I need my wound taken care of twice daily and I can't do it on my own I need someone to do it for me. Home health doesn't come every day just once a week so mom does my wound care. I still need help so have to stay out here. It will be soon that I can go home as my wound is 1 centimeter by 1.3 centimeters.

Jan