[anjelmarie]

Here I am dealing with major depression, horrible panic attacks, I'm not sleeping at night and then I have to deal with my bf's family and their drama and problems. Since we got together its been one thing after another with them. His siblings and their kids. Nobody seems to be able to handle their own kids and since we don't have any my bf feels like he has to jump in and get involved. In my family everyone takes care of their own families and their own problems. I have never once involved him in any of my families issues, never had to ask him to do one thing but with his family they are always calling with a problem they need help with or fixed. I can't take it no more. I'm dealing with my own problems and i'm having a hard time lately, i feel so bad that i don't even want to be here so dealing with them is really adding more stress to my already beyond stressed self. I just needed to vent.

[lynn P.]

It sounds like your BF is the leader type in his family. He the kind of person who likes to help. Is he happy taking on this role of helper to his family? Have you tried nicely talking about this and finding a happy balance. It wouldn't be fair to make him stop supporting his family completely.

[momoko]

Everybody's family is different. My family is very small and slightly dysfunctional but it's what I've always known. I've noticed I date people with very large, tight-knit families that behave in ways completely different than my own that I do not enjoy.
Everyone's family is different and if you really want to stick with this guy there isn't going to be a way to avoid his family. Have you told him how it makes you feel? Maybe you can explain how much stress it creates for you especially when you haven't been feeling well and just ask to be kept separate his family ordeals as much as possible until you feel better and are able to be put under that kind of stress. Just explain that he is important to you and you know his family is important to him but that it is not a good time for you to be in that kind of environment.

[anjelmarie]

Originally Posted by momoko

Everybody's family is different. My family is very small and slightly dysfunctional but it's what I've always known. I've noticed I date people with very large, tight-knit families that behave in ways completely different than my own that I do not enjoy.
Everyone's family is different and if you really want to stick with this guy there isn't going to be a way to avoid his family. Have you told him how it makes you feel? Maybe you can explain how much stress it creates for you especially when you haven't been feeling well and just ask to be kept separate his family ordeals as much as possible until you feel better and are able to be put under that kind of stress. Just explain that he is important to you and you know his family is important to him but that it is not a good time for you to be in that kind of environment.

He doesn't know how to say no. Only to me. Right now he has his teenage neice staying with us in a very small one bedroom apt and i need my space and privacy. I don't have it in me to be talkative and to be around her. I have bitten my the skin around my nails to shreds from the stress. I can't deal with this. I only am able to get online because she went to the damn store. Shes on the computer all the time or looking to see what i'm doing. I will be in the hospital soon if don't get my space and my privacy back soon.