[hoping4best]

Im avoiding this guy(crush, cuz i feel that if i dont,i will alwa)ys be gawking at him. Im not going to work since few days just to avoid him. A day ago, he was right infront of me. .he was standing so close. .i cant bear it. .i will explode! I like him somuch,even after what happened between us. . .

[Belle1979]

((((jiakhan))))

It's a crush, you will get past it I promise. If you can get over relationship break downs, ex's re-entering you life and everything else you WILL be able to forget this guy.

[hoping4best]

Belle, it takes me well more than a year to get over such ups n downs. Im afraid i dont have much time. I dont have so much energy left.

[Belle1979]

Originally Posted by jiakhan

Belle, it takes me well more than a year to get over such ups n downs. Im afraid i dont have much time. I dont have so much energy left.

you do have the time. energy is hard to find but keep on struggling through x

[Rhiannonsmoon]

i am agreeing with Belle all things take time and instant gratification is something many people look for only to be disappointed and lonely afterwards

our megan looks for instant gratification and then cries after getting it because she realises that it is empty gratification and her need is for true feeling which is a thing she can not feel she is almost immune to it so to her physical gratification is a thing that substitutes for emotional feelings

i certainly do not intend to imply that you are the same i just wanted to tell you how she is which is devoid emotionally with a physical desire only it stops her having to invest emotionally

i think you invest emotionally much more than phsyically which is so hard on you and you are fighting it so much but are in a situation that is tormenting you because in this case you do not receive an emotional response in return which is rejection of you physically a rejection of you emotionally a problem on both fronts

i dont know what i would do so i can not judge for you what you should do megan is bent out of shape in all areas so i can only imagine what you are feeling the anxiety and fear of being faced with a person you have feelings for rejecting you in every way must be heart breaking

i am here for you if you wish to contact me i am available for you

Bridie

[momoko]

Everyone has felt this impulse toward another person and sometimes it can be overwhelming. You can't help how you feel but you can learn ways to overcome the way those feelings make you feel.

You can't just stop liking someone but maybe you can look at it from a different perspective. Seriously consider the reasons you like him, why you feel like you will "explode" and whether or not you are allowing yourself to be set up for continual disappointment which is not healthy.

It's not good to dwell but it is often helpful to think things through and continually remind yourself of what is healthy for YOU. It's like when you choose to eat a salad instead of a hamburger, you immediately know you want to eat a delicious hamburger but something inside you compels you to choose the salad because you know it's better in the long run. Whether it's because you have high cholesterol or are on a diet you make a decision to not choose what you want but instead what you need.

If this isn't something that is good for you your mind and body will help you overcome it.

[hoping4best]

Yesterday ,he talked to me assuming im someone else he knew in the past. It went on well for a while but then he realized im not that girl and he blocked me. It felt soooo good to talk to him even though he wasnt really talking to ME.

[hoping4best]

I knw i shudnt have contacted him in this way,but i acted on impulse and unexpectedly got a response from him. It was sad to knw that he is being good wid so many other girls but is really harsh towards me.

[Belle1979]

How did he not know who you were? Was iy messenger chat or something?

I know you are hurting, I really know believe me
It's hard to cut all contact with someone you feel a connection with... As much as we know you would be better off in the long run to well... run and never look back. I can't give you any advice as I am struggling at the moment with the "need" to delete Lou from my FB but can't bring myself to cut it off...

Is there a chance you can change jobs? Move to a different place inside the company etc?

[marjan]

Originally Posted by jiakhan

I knw i shudnt have contacted him in this way,but i acted on impulse and unexpectedly got a response from him. It was sad to knw that he is being good wid so many other girls but is really harsh towards me.

Sorry to hear that you are hurting.....he might be just good to the girls that he doesn't know that much....once that excitement is done, then he's turning to be a brutal guy....

I know you are hurting, but there is one thing in life and you can't change others, but you can change yourself how you feel about them and you act towards them.....

[hoping4best]

Belle, yes i talked to him on messenger. We have never talked on msngr and i believe he doesnt know that i have his email id. So i added him by using a fake name and a fake id and he accepted the invitation.

[hoping4best]

He thought i was some girl frm whom he hadnt heard for over a year,so he was caught by surprise and began talking to me.

[hoping4best]

That doesnt come in the category of Stalking, does it??
the fact that he talks pleasantly wid so many other girls whereas called me names to my face, is very hurting.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by jiakhan

That doesnt come in the category of Stalking, does it??
the fact that he talks pleasantly wid so many other girls whereas called me names to my face, is very hurting.

Dear Girl

This can be considered dishonest and as you call it stalking, if that is what you mean by surreptitiously observe, follow and try to get close to him when he has shown no interest, and these things cause you to see him as someone you must have, then yes this is wrong and will cause you worse in the long stretch

He may feel stalked and angry enough to say and do things that you consider harsh when in fact he is trying to get a message across to you that you have failed to take on board and continue to ignore though his treatment of you gets worse

This one just does not like you and now that you have been particularly deceptive he is going to react in an even stronger way.

Stay away from him in every regard and protect yourself from his reactions

The right one will come along so being patient is of great importance

Morgana

[hoping4best]

U r right Rhainnon... i should have moved on. Perhaps i will, wont i?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

This is Morgana sweet one,

I know that the one for you is out there and you must save yourself until then and when he declares himself to you, then you can open your arms and your heart to him the wait will be worth it

Love waited for Rhiannon untill her 44th year and, so she tells me it was worth every moment of waiting because her life is peaceful loving and happy

You will find love dear one

Morgana

[hoping4best]

Erm...Morgana who r u? how do u know rhiannon?

[bridgie]

It is seeming as your innocent crush is/has turned into an unhealthy obsession. Pursuing any furthur contact with this man may cause some serious repurcussions. If he feels you are crossing lines (fake i.d.) He may take steps to keep you away from him (ie. a restraining order, that is the extreme) but what if he tells your employer and gets you fired or something(you mentioned you work together so that is a major concern). That isn't something you want to have happen. Try and get some help to get this guy out of your mind so nothing bad happens to you. Take care

[Belle1979]

((((jiakhan))))

Morgana is one of Rhain's alt's i think. A few of them pop up when she is retreating.

It's not exactly stalking darling but comes close.. okay so I am just as close to doing it with my ex.. so finally I deleted him from my FB and I am going to try very hard not to look at his emails etc. It doesn't do any good, if anything it just deepens the depression.

I would really like you to get counselling if you can. I'm back in therapy and I have to say that I know it will help me more than anything else.
Stop me acting on emotions and bring the rational side of me back.

I do understand what you are feeling and I do understand why you are going about everything like you are but for your sake you need to step back and look at it in a different way.
Did he ever give you any indication that he was interested in you? (I am not meaning too sound harsh)
take yourself back to a time before you had a crush on him.. and then re-capture the feelings.. no of him but just of you being you without him on your mind all of the time..

[hoping4best]

@bridgie... Yes he can notify the authorities about this.but i have becum obsessed wid him only after his harsh and humiliating behaviour. Otherwise he knew pretty well that its me who is contacting him..and he threatened to humiliate me infrnt of other ppl in the very beginning. But i had a huge crush on him and didnt really bother wht he said.

[hoping4best]

@Belle... No,he NEVER showed interest in me,but he never really treated me badly infrnt of ppl either. But i have found out that almost all of our colleagues knw abt my liking for him and abt ways in whch i have tried to contact him and gain his attention.

[hoping4best]

I cant get a new therapist, they r very hard to find. I have even stopped taking medication for my mood swings because i didnt get to c that therapist again,he is ALWAYS very busy!

[Belle1979]

Darling you can't just stop taking meds !!!
Please take care of yourself, i am starting to worry.

Can you make an appointment with a GP if you can't get into see you T? Perhaps they could push you ahead of the queue or even suggest some other support.

[hoping4best]

No belle, i cant go to a GP either due to some reasons. By the way, i saw that guy (lets call him Eric instead of guy or crush) today at work. He didnt seem to notice me although i was rite there, ironically thats g gud sign,isnt it?

[Belle1979]

I bet it hurt even if you are hoping it was a good thing

Eric doesn't know what a great person he has let slip through his grasp xxx