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Old Oct 17, 2010, 12:06 PM
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ivyblessed ivyblessed is offline
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Part of being separated from my son during this time of his being under arrest.. and not knowing the outcome of that. I wonder how will his and my relationship be after this suicide attempt. I need to know if it will be possible to trust him again. Can anyone please help me with my fears, or just talk to me about ways to deal with my fears?

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  #2  
Old Oct 17, 2010, 05:38 PM
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Please? please
  #3  
Old Oct 17, 2010, 06:28 PM
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bridgie bridgie is offline
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was your son getting help for depression before this attempt. were you in therapy with him. what was your relationship before. things may be a little on edge after untill you both can open up about what happened but it may help bring you closer in the end
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How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt.

"Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe

Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else.

Last edited by bridgie; Oct 17, 2010 at 07:07 PM.
  #4  
Old Oct 17, 2010, 06:31 PM
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bridgie bridgie is offline
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it can be a very scary thing, the not knowing, the waiting. i sometimes think that is one of the hardest parts. just remember no news is good news. part of the issue may be the fact your son is of age. if he was a minor you would definitely be in the loop. give it a little time.
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How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt.

"Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe

Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else.
  #5  
Old Oct 17, 2010, 07:04 PM
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ivyblessed ivyblessed is offline
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Bridgie,
Thank you so much for your answer. No, there was no therapy and looking back that is one of the possible reasons for the attempt. Yes, it is going to a long difficult road. I am most concerned about trust issues. How will I be able to believe him or trust him, if he can't tell me about wanting to die?

What may have been depression has now turned into a full blown episode of who knows what, and yes the not knowing is the hardest part. I do understand that his age impacts this greatly. I am no long technically responsible for him or his actions.
  #6  
Old Oct 17, 2010, 07:21 PM
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bridgie bridgie is offline
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in some ways just from what you have written perhaps him opening the door was him telling you how down he is, how he doesnt want to be here any more. i think that may have been his way of telling you, his way of asking for help. i could be wrong but if he wanted to he could have left the door locked. what ever happens you will have to give him the benefit of the doubt. if you go overboard it may push him away. not saying that will happen but its been known to. for me personally if my family askes me over and over how I am feelig and am i ok it kinda makes me upset especially if I say fine. Usually I talk when Im ready. Just letting him know you are there and that he can come to you will be important
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How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt.

"Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe

Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else.
  #7  
Old Oct 18, 2010, 02:44 AM
Princess_Obsidian Princess_Obsidian is offline
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Greetings,

Have you been assigned a social worker?

Have a good one.
  #8  
Old Oct 18, 2010, 10:40 AM
KathyM KathyM is offline
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((ivyblessed))

I hope your son knows by now that death is never a solution to a problem - it only creates more problems. Let this be a new chapter in your relationship with your son. Be strong for him and let him know you're in his corner - that he can turn to you whenever life becomes overwhelming. Be ready, willing and able to listen to anything that may come out of his mouth - and try not to overreact to anything he might say. As hard as it might sound, it will give you the base from where he's coming from. It will help him to identify the source of his fear, anger, etc. toward life. If you can remain strong, it might give him the strength to see the beauty in life - and why it's worth it to fight to stay alive.

Good luck to you and your son.
  #9  
Old Oct 18, 2010, 03:24 PM
Anonymous32910
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Two summers ago, my son ended up hospitalized three times for suicidal ideation. I understand your fears. The uncertainty is excruciating, isn't it? Your role in this is to facilitate finding him the right help. You can't fix this for him but you can be his support while he goes through this process.

I think in an odd way, my son and I have a stronger relationship now as he and I have an empathy for each other's struggles. We were fortunate. His depression was apparently situational and temporary. He has since done quite well with no relapses. I hope things will turn out well for your son also.
Thanks for this!
Rhiannonsmoon
  #10  
Old Oct 19, 2010, 01:36 AM
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Rhiannonsmoon Rhiannonsmoon is offline
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Farmergirl these are very very wise words and would I have been the one looking for help these words would have helped me greatly

Ivy please listen to these words of wisdom they are sage
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Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
  #11  
Old Oct 19, 2010, 02:02 PM
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notablackbarbie notablackbarbie is offline
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(((ivyblessed)))

one of the most messed up things about suicide is that the idea in ones head can damn near blind yourself to everyone else and their concerns and how they may feel...whether its over a long period of time, or just a moment of "i want this to STOP NOW" (or a combination thereof). I still feel so guilty (and selfish and stupid...) after my attempts because of what i put my family through. I still cannot imagine what you as a parent - and all others go through - to have kids like us....

im sorry. You and yours are in my prayers too...
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