Trust

Belle1979 · Oct 24, 2010, 07:19 PM

Do you hold on to it so that if it did happen again.. you wouldn't feel like you have been blown out of the water with surprise?

I know that's why I do not want to trust... don't want the shock of bad things happening again. I would rather think the worst and be surprised by the good. So not healthy

Muser · Oct 24, 2010, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Based on my experience, it is not surprising relationships are so challenging. That said, I have been blessed with knowing some wonderful women who have made significant contributions to my life. What troubles me is the constant comparisons. Women can do this, this and this better. Men always, never, generally blah, blah, blah forever.

History tells us men have treated women far too often without the respect women are entitled to, and worse. The disparity in treatment continues to this day. Am I a suspect person because of my gender? Do all men need to be changed or trained? Does no husband listen to his wife?

I hope your book brings spousal enlightenment, Muser, and with it the confidence to trust again.

Byz...the book I refer to (and I did joke maybe poorly that is was a fantasy) is intended to help us girls treat our guys better with a understanding of our differences. It is similar to Dr. John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I was not man bashing...quite the contrary. I love men. I just don't understand most. What he thought was nothing I thought was huge. Probably the one who has helped me the most through this episode...this that I totally did not understand...is my male co-worker.

Belle and I are similar in that we both need to understand. These lighthearted self-help books might be offensive to some but I truly believe men and women do respond differently to the same event.

In my opinion, a woman often seeks out another woman if she wants sympathy or validation but will especially appreciate a man's opinion if she wants knowledge.

Muser · Oct 24, 2010, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Belle1979

Do you hold on to it so that if it did happen again.. you wouldn't feel like you have been blown out of the water with surprise?

I know that's why I do not want to trust... don't want the shock of bad things happening again. I would rather think the worst and be surprised by the good. So not healthy

Right....it was a shock really. I was unprepared. You don't prepare.

But....we're talking 8 - 9 months ago. I have said over and over....this is stupid...makes no sense that it's still on my mind. I don't even want to think about any of it even one more second.

But if I lied to you today how would you feel about what I say to you tomorrow?

It takes more self control than I have to will myself to think different thoughts. I play loud music in the car....I'm busy really....I thought maybe making lite of myself might help.