[susan888]

He is hypersensitive, has quit taking his effexor because he says he doesn't need it (he doesn't need his blood pressure meds either)...

I live in a fragile uncertain environment when he is home. Will he be sweet? Will he be angry over something stupid? I am so tired of fighting and feeling unsure and insecure.

Anxiety attacks me when he calls, when he is coming home. I don't ever know what to expect. Did I not call him enough today?? Do I sound weird on the phone?? Am I not smiling enough? Am I making him feel like I am distracted??? Am I distant??? What's wrong with me??

NOTHING IS WRONG!!! I was FINE before you started your questioning..... now....not so much.

God help me.....I don't know how to fix this...

Hello, susan888. Are you able to talk to him about this? Would he be amenable to counseling? If he will not work with you to make the relationship better, perhaps you need to ask yourself the Ann Landers' question: Would I be better off with him or without him?

If you are unsure of the answer to Ann's question, is therapy an option for you? Therapy may help reduce the stress. You should not have to live with someone who makes your life so difficult.

I wish you the best.

[sunsetsunrise]

susan, I am sorry you are dealing with this. He sounds very unhealthy of course. Through the years i was in Al-anon, one of the things I learned is that its important for the healthier person to get help for themselves. Are you getting help for yourself? Its a question I just wanted to ask. Safe hugs for you Susan, if you would like some.

[salukigirl]

Y'know I was about to post the same thing. It's like everything I do is friggen wrong. I don't do the laundry right. I don't put the dishes away right. I don't put the leftovers away right. I don't hand him something quick enough. What the hell is so bad about our relationship that everything has to be sooooo bad?! If you learn the answer, please fill me in.