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#1
Nov 10, 2010, 03:10 PM
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I can't decide if I'm being neurotic or what, but I am having a hard time with this one.
I've only been dating him for a few months, but he dropped the "I am falling in love with you" thing about two weeks ago. The problem is that he's not around much. He has a rather stressful job that is filing for bankruptcy, a daughter he sees every weekend, and then me with a crazy schedule. We really don't get to see each other much, which is part of the problem. But I think mainly the problem is me and my problems with trusting someone with my heart. I'm divorced, and have been for over two years now. I was then in a relationship with a someone who was a control freak and that didn't work out. I want to give my heart to this guy, and I've been honest with him about what I want. I just don't know what I'm getting exactly because I don't see him much. And I don't want to scare him away by saying I want to see him more often. Advice? How can I talk to him without scaring the crap out of him? |
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#2
Nov 10, 2010, 03:21 PM
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if he is saying he is falling in love with you then you telling him you would like to spend more time with him should not scare him at all. just be open and honest with him about it.
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
 Belle1979, LookingforCalm, Rhiannonsmoon
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#3
Nov 10, 2010, 04:19 PM
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why are you afraid of scaring him away in the first place? if he's in love with you, then he should even appreciate that you want to spend more time with him...I think it will make him even happy to know that....
the basic of the relationship is communication....if we don't tell our partner what we feel or if we are scared of asking him for something, then that relationship is not going to work.... Just be assertive and not very aggressive when you are telling him....consider his situations as well....it looks like he's going through a lot in his life.... good luck Marjan |
| LookingforCalm
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#4
Nov 10, 2010, 06:03 PM
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Go for it.. if he is speaking the truth then he will come running anytime that you want to see him!
Be happy - this could be the best time in your life xx
__________________
 How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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| LookingforCalm
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#5
Nov 11, 2010, 02:48 PM
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Coming from a man, just tell him the truth. You have been hurt before, and need to take it slow and really get to know him. If he cares for you he will respect this, and that is the truth.
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| LookingforCalm
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#6
Nov 13, 2010, 11:03 AM
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Does he ever include you in activities he does with his daughter? And I don't want to sound paranoid, but are you very sure that he is single and not involved with anyone else? If you have any doubts, listen to your instincts.
Otherwise, I agree to talk to him about this. If he doesn't want to spend more time with you or is not able to, and that makes you unhappy, then you have a decision to make. All the best.... |
| LookingforCalm
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#7
Nov 13, 2010, 05:15 PM
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spending progressivly more and more time together with the person you are in a relationship with is the natural course it is supposed to take. take it as fast or as slow as you want it to go. set up more outings or time in with him and make the most of the time you do have with each other. you have a say too in how this relationship is going to go. it is never one sided. so talk to him be honest and if he is the one for you things will work out. good luck
__________________
How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt. "Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else. |
| LookingforCalm
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#8
Nov 15, 2010, 03:37 AM
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I don't think you're being neurotic I think maybe a little worried about taking the next step but not neurotic. I agree with the others and you should go for it...happiness doesn't come around every bus stop...
__________________
 Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
| LookingforCalm
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#9
Nov 17, 2010, 03:48 PM
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Tell him that u want to see him more often,if he likes u it shouldnt scare him away.
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| LookingforCalm
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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