[handlewithcare]

Hi! I just recently found out I am pregnant by my fiance or so i guess to call him that. He had moved out due to legal matters that is a cause for a whole nother topic. We are not supposed to be together needless to say due to the legal matters. Since I became pregnant he acts like he doesn't care bout me or this baby. We both have children with previous relationships. I look at all the kids equally but he acts like the child he already has is more important then the one growing in me. I had almost lost the baby and he seemed like it didn't matter to him. Now that I am passed the miscarriage scare he still has me on a rollercoaster of him wanting to be with me, doesn't know what he wants, we are together, we arent ect... I have been trying to work everything out with him but he just says we might as well not try any more because no one wants us to be together and I even offer suggestions and he makes excuses. Anytime I ask him to come see me there is always a fight that occurs because he makes excuses but denies that he is even doing that to me. I need help, advise anything... how do i try to get this relationship to work for the sake of a baby that isn't even in this world yet?? My 2 children come from a divorced home his daughter comes from a similar but a little different situation as this baby... what do i do to get him to remember what made him fall in love with me in the first place? what do i do to get him to try to make us work??

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello HWC,

I really believe if you can't be together for legal reasons then you shouldn't be together at all. And the situation for your kids can only be dangerous and dysfunctional. Also the babe in your womb is subject to everything you are and hears and feels everything you do.

Let him go and get yourself a decent life and stay away from trouble. He doesn't want you or the baby and I really and truly think your kids deserve better.

If you want support to stay away from him you will get that here,

Hope all goes well for you

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Not sure how to help, but as a child with separated parents I can say that getting together or staying together just for the sake of a child is not the way to go. My parents tried many times to be together again for my brother's and I's sake and it only resulted in more hurt, confusion, and anxiety in the end. I prefer my mom with her boyfriend and my Dad with a woman who makes him truly happy.. not with each other.

It would be good to work something out so your child can see their father (if he is up for that) and you can be supported financially.. but I don't think it's a good idea to try and start up the relationship again, especially since you can't be together because of these legal matters.