[BrokenNBeautiful]

This woman, who is the executor of my late aunt's estate does not know me at all.

She was the friend of my aunt's.

She always invited my aunt over for holidays and never invited me. My aunt was family to me and never ever left me out on h olidays. But she never ever mentioned that Tina invited me!

In fact, I was upset every year that I never got any invitation from Tina or from my aunt. I never complained about it, though.

Now Tina claims that she had invited me and my aunt had kept saying "Billi didn't want to come".

Lies! Lies! Lies! My aunt woud never ever tell her that or get in the way of Tina inviting me. It was Tina who never invited me. I know it!

Now, in 2008, my aunt passes away and leaves everthing to Tina, incl. dealing with me.

I barely knew this woman!

And I told her how awkward it was, and she took it personally. I told her that I did not want her to feel like she had to take care of me or deal with me in any way.

I felt this way becasue she had never invited me for holidays. Only my aunt.

well, she lives in another reality--she says, "I know all about you from your aunt and I invited you every year for holidays."

No she didn't.

She lies!

Now she hates me because she claims I wrote her "angry nasty notes"! OMG. Never!

I only wrote, "You don't have to have anything to do with me if you would rather not."

I was not angry!

I was simply letting her off the hook.

She is twisting things.

Billi

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hi Billi,

Sounds like a touchy situation. If you are not happy in dealing with Tina then you don't have to. You could have contested the will but from 2008 I think it is too late. Have you seen a copy of the will? that is something that is important. It needs to be a notorised copy from a lawyer. I'd want to see it if it were me.

Maybe you could write a letter explaining yourself? You can't actually call her a liar because you just don't know if your Aunt was telling you the exact truth. She is passed over and you can't ask her.

And to be honest I must ask what possible benefit does she get from lying? Just questions. Maybe that time was the only time your aunt could completely relax and wanted it for herself? That isn't unreasonable.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hi Billi,

Sounds like a touchy situation. If you are not happy in dealing with Tina then you don't have to.

You could have contested the will but from 2008 I think it is too late. Have you seen a copy of the will? that is something that is important. It needs to be a notorised copy from a lawyer. I'd want to see it if it were me.

Maybe you could write a letter explaining yourself? You can't actually call her a liar because you just don't know if your Aunt was telling you the exact truth. She is passed over and you can't ask her.

And to be honest I must ask what possible benefit does she get from lying? Just questions. Maybe that time was the only time your aunt could completely relax and wanted it for herself? That isn't unreasonable.

Rhiannon, I tried to access the will thru the probate court website. I have their phone number and their address. Maybe I could make an appt and talk to someone. Also, Tina told my roommate that "she had no legal obligation to me". OMG. I thought she did!

Rhiannon, I know my aunt. She would never lie. I got a pretty not too nice vibe from Tina from the beginning.

Billi

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I really hope that you can get a copy of the will. If there is an executor there is usually a reading of the will at a lawyers office. But if you have had the will kept from you can take it to court. You can also find out if there was another will written before that one which took care of you. Something isn't quite right and why would she tell your room mate that knowing your room mate would tell you? I agree that she isn't what she appears to be...Good luck with it and let us know how you go,

Rhiannon

[AAAAA]

Our loved ones are merely human. You will never know exactly what happened. The woman was accurate. If you were not named in the will she has no legal obligation to you. If you were one of the primary heirs you should have gotten a copy of the will directly from the lawyer.

I don't know what it is about death that brings out the worst in humans. They try to purge their pain by making others hurt worse I think.

Do you have reason to believe that your Aunt may have left you something that this woman is not releasing?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Our loved ones are merely human. You will never know exactly what happened. The woman was accurate. If you were not named in the will she has no legal obligation to you. If you were one of the primary heirs you should have gotten a copy of the will directly from the lawyer.

I don't know what it is about death that brings out the worst in humans. They try to purge their pain by making others hurt worse I think.

Do you have reason to believe that your Aunt may have left you something that this woman is not releasing?

If what you say is true, I was obviously misinformed. My aunt told me that she left money to Tina to take care of me. And I don't even know where that will is. I am not sure if probate court can help me locate it. It is conceivable that my aunt simply trusted Tina with money, not legally putting it in my name becuase she feared it would mess up my eligibility for SSI payments. (A social security program).

However, it still feels unfair and I agree with Rhiannon that *something isn't right*.

I cannot trust this woman.

Billi

[AAAAA]

If your Aunt did this under the table, and relied upon Tina without a written agreement then you are SOL.

As I said our loved ones are human. They too can be blinded by their affection. We are going through a very similiar thing with my Aunt.

She died nearly a year ago. She was an oncology nurse so when she got her dx she was well aware of what was in her future. She immediately made a will. She left her car, home and other properties to her life partner, but all of her liquid assets (stocks, bonds, pension, IRA, cash) to two of my cousins and her life partner's daughter to be split equally. She made her life partner executor.

Until her death, she had kept her finances seperate from her life partner for several reasons. First she was married many years ago and when they divorced he took everything including her own inheritance from her mother. Second our state specifically changed its constitution a few years ago and same sex couples are not recognized at all. Third (and this is why I was shocked she left LP as executor) her LP was very bad with money.

She lost her mental capacity quite quickly (brain cancer) as was expected and died five months later. She had a stroke during the biopsy which immediately required her hospitalization. In the end, she never left the hospital.

While she was in the hospital, she allowed her life partner access to one of her accounts to pay the mortage and medical expenses etc. During that five month period, her LP bought a new car, took her credit cards and maxed them out acting as my Aunt. The LP emptied that account as soon as money was deposited (she continued to draw not only her regular salary but also private short term disability that was specifically calculated to cover mortage and medical co-pays) she never paid the mortage (house is now in forclosure) nor did she pay any of the medical co-pays (which now effects my cousin's inheritances).

Further, I don't know what story she was giving the lawyer, but my cousins had to contact him directly because the copies of the will were not forthcoming. She will not release any of the family momentos to my cousins. Things worthless to anyone other family members, pictures of our grandparents, grandma's lasagna pan, quilts made by my Great Aunt, costume jewelery that has been in the family for years and trinkets that she wanted life long friends to have.

We all knew that these problems were coming as soon as she said that her LP was named as her executor. She still had her mind at that time, but no one wanted to upset her by saying something. Thank God she had the forsight to give my Cousin her medical power of attorney to make sure her wishes were carried out. LP fought my Cousin on several things during the illness.

It was very frustrating! As I said, she had been an ORN for 25 years, she knew what was coming and gathered everyone to make her wishes known. As her mental state declined her LP would convince her of the most bizzare things. She actually tried to prevent my Aunt from getting the comfort measures she needed in her last days. Oh btw, her LP was also an RN so she knew exactly what she was doing! All because she wanted to save money that wasn't even hers.

To date nothing has been dispersed. The heirs are specifically named. My cousins have gotten their own lawyer.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thank you AAA

I think I am SOL. what is t hat?

anyway, I hashed out things with my roommate about Tina.

He told me that Tina said I had "behaved badly" at her house the two times I was invited over there. I had not! He then said, "You do certain things that are weird."

I do have a mental illness.

But I swear I was on my best behavior; there was no incidents at Tina's.

My aunt never would have let me hear the end of it if I had behaved badly.

Tina, I believe, is just badmouthing me becauase she only knows one side of the story---my aunt's.

She worships the ground my aunt walked on and I guess disliked me.

I knew that.

At least I wasn't paranoid; this woman really didn't like me.

Billi

[AAAAA]

SOL = S.hit out of Luck

The moral/ethical thing to do would be to give you the money that your Aunt wanted you to have. But then again it sounds like your Aunt was rather foolish in the way she went about things. I mean no disrespect to the dead, but unless she was a very young woman, she should have known that there are precious few people in this world that you can depend upon when it comes to money.

Since she's gone, you'll never really know what happened. I think I would approach her directly in a non-confrontational way and say something like "I am very confused, my Aunt told me she was leaving me money in your care and I have not received it yet. Did something change before she died?"

Perhaps your Aunt did not make her wishes clear. Perhaps her expenses were more than expected. Perhaps she simply changed her mind. Perhaps Tina is just an immoral person.

I hope you can find a little of the closure you seek.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

She was sending me money for a while, but I decided I didn't want it anymore just because she was being so cold to me.

Yes, I have my pride.

I don't take money from people who don't want to give it to me.

I agree that my aunt misjudged, at best, Tina's attitude toward me. That it would not color how she treated me.

You know what? I was even afraid she would disinvite me from my aunt's funeral!

I have a bad feeling about her. I do.

And I don't want to have anything more to do with her.

I just don't want to feel like I am the bad one.

Tina is the one who blew it, with her attitude toward me.

If she's still mad about some "behavior" a long time ago, she's an unforgiving woman.

I can't waste any more time on vindictive, spiteful people.

She told me I could have whatever of my aunt's I wanted and when I asked her for my aunt's earrings, she denied that my aunt even had earrings.

Bull.

Billi