[BamaSurvivor]

I met the most amazing guy today, at Wal Mart of all places. LoL He's not all that gorgeous look wise, but his personality takes over and makes him absolutely gorgeous. Anyway, he came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me Miss but would it be too much trouble to ask for your name and number?", or something along those lines. I said yes, of course, and gave him my name and number. He called within an hour later and asked if I wanted to come to his place and chill... At first I was hectic about it because going to a guys house you first meet usually means they want "some", but not so with Justin.

Went over to his house and first he introduced me to his sister, her kids, and his sisters husband. They were all really nice people. We went into his room for a few just talking and it got hot in there so we decided to go lay down outside and look at the stars since they were out and so beautiful tonight. We layed there, with my head leaned down on his air and just talked about all sorts of things. Our up bringings, where we came from, what we wanted out of life, and one we wanted in another partner. We kept finishing eachothers sentences! lol All we did was kiss a few times and he respected me enough to stop there and walk me to my car. He's awesome! Anyway, it's 3:15am and I'm rattling now...
I guess I do have a question, but please don't take it as he's a bad person, because he's not. He is a recovering addict, as am I. I think he'd be really good for me sobriety wise because he's been clean longer than me and is just so smart and caring. But he's have two cases pending from when he was using dope. The charges are possession of drug paraphanila (sp?), and he sold dope to an under-cover cop. He spent a couple months in jail for it but then got out and his lawyer is trying to get him just probation and drug court referral or something instead of prison time, but there is a chance he can spend up to 4 years in prison. What do you think I should do? I'm really digging this guy, never started liking a guy this much this fast, ever. But I'm scared that once his hearing comes up and he has to spend 4 years in prison, what am I left with? I'm going to spend every waking second I can with him and enjoy every second of it, but I'm also putting up a little bit of my gaurd so that I don't get hurt AS badly if something goes wrong.

What would you do in that type of situation? And if they did go to prison but you really cared about them, would you wait for them to come home?

Bama, I'd be careful.
As soon as I read he suggested going to "his" place for a first date, I was skeptical. Why didn't he take you out on a respectable date? You know? Out to dinner and a movie. You deserve better then that half *** attempt to impress you.
He's been in trouble with the law. He doesn't sound like he's of good character. He may pull you back into the addiction because of the people he associates with.

You won't like what I have to say but I have to say it because you need to take a step back and look at what you're getting yourself into.
You can do much better then this. Get someone who's clean and who's not been into drugs or trouble with the law.
Get AWAY from this guy.
NOOOOOOOO- you're NOT going to wait for him to come home.
You're going to find another man to hook up with.
Okay? Drop this guy. You'll be sad for a couple of weeks but you'll get over it.
(((((((((Bama))))))))))))

[dottie]

Hi Bama!

Run away from this one. Far away.

~Dottie

[BamaSurvivor]

But he doesn't do dope anymore... He goes to NA meetings 5 days a week (I've seen all his sobriety chips), he doesn't hang around the same people. I actually told him about my situation with my sister and he said I needed to distance myself from her because those so called friends and family who are on dope will only bring you down with them. He's such a sweet guy. He gets paid today and all he had yesterday was $25 bucks and he filled my tank up with gas with that money out of the goodness of his heart. He promised to take me out sometime this week.

Why should he be eleminated simply because he's been in trouble with the law before and has a drug history? I have a past with the law and a drug history, and I wouldn't want people to judge me from the character I once was, but am not today.

(((((((((( Jax ))))))))))

[mrb020377]

I really believe that people can change when they have the want to. Call me skeptical, but I believe in giving people second chances. Maybe this guy realized the doing the things he used to do is not what he really wants in life. Maybe he had some life changing experience that we dont know about. i just dont believe in judging people before we know them... lord knows that has happened to me a million times..

(((((((((((((((((Bama))))))))))))

[darkeyes]

Maybe giving someone a "chance" is not such a bad idea.
And even with a guy not using or never used drugs, there are always things that can be hiding in someone's past, right? And so far he has been up front with you, he was not obligated to tell you all this stuff, but apparently wanted to let you know. It is just a matter of us being aware of our surroundings and others. Bama, I do assume you know the signs, if this guy is into something that will be a setback for you, right? So, what the heck, a date once in awhile can't hurt, requiring there are NO "substances" present, stay away from that. Perhaps, just starting as friends, getting more familar with one another would be best at the present. Just avoid being hurt, and run away from anything tempting or that is detrimental to your health and well being, please.
Take care now,
DE

(((((((((((((( Bama )))))))))))))

[BamaSurvivor]

Great advice, y'all... Especially your advice Fury. Hit the nail on the head. We have developed a SMALL trust between one another already, from sharing our past with one another to meeting eachothers family. I met his yesterday, he met mine today. Well, my mom and sister anyway. He actually stood up for me and told me sister to back off when she asked if I wanted to go get high. That was SUPER cool points for him! lol

I spent all evening with him. We had a good time doing pretty much nothing. lol He filled my tank up with gas and said, "Let's just ride", so we did. We ended up at Sand Mountain, beeeautiful mountains overlooking all of three counties. We just sat there with a blanket, cuddling and watching the town and the stars. It was very nice!

[mj14]

Bama,

I think it's real important to keep reminding yourself that you've only known this person for about 48 hours, and you are talking about your future with him.

It's really wonderful when you "click" with someone right off the bat, but in reality you don't know any of the real important stuff about this guy. Things like, is he the kind of person who takes care of his obligations? When he is upset or mad, does he take it out on others around him? What kind of things is he going to expect from a girlfriend, and are they things you feel comfortable giving? You can talk and talk and talk, but trust me, there are things that you will not know about this man until you have known him for months.

It sounds like you and he have a lot in common, and may be able to provide each other with much needed support. So why don't you focus on the support and friendship, and try not to fall into a serious romantic attachment until you know each other better? You mentioned that you are going to spend every waking minute with him...maybe a better thing would be to see him a little less often, and keep some time for yourself.

Good luck...I really hope he ends up being everything you wish for. But give him some time to really show who he is.

Jo

[BamaSurvivor]

It may not sound like it, but I am actually taking things slow. I'm not planning a future with him. I'm living in the moment with him right now. I know there's many, many things to learn about him... IF there is a future for us, I'd still be learning about him because you never stop learning about a person.

I've jumped in relationships head first not guarding my heart several times, it left me very hurt and miserable. I'm not doing that this time. Just taking my time and getting to know him and have fun with him. When I feel I am able to FULLY trust him (I don't trust males easily), then I'll take the guard down and really let him in.

[cms39]

I think he would be a good influence in a sense since his sobriety is a priority with him as well. I may be naive but I think he sounds nice to hang out with.

[BamaSurvivor]

He's great. We're still together and going strong. I've spent everyday with him the past week up until today. Feels kinda strange being here without him. He wanted to go hang out with a friend today so we took the day apart from one another. I miss him tons! Hopefully I'll get to see him tomorrow before my rehab meeting.

He's really been such a good person for me. Besides the fact I feel important, beautiful, smart, and awesome around him, he keeps me busy so I don't eat as much anymore and have lost a few pounds. lol He says I'm wasting away. *rolls eyes* haha! Anyway, just thought I'd let y'all know we're still together and are rarely apart. Trying to spend as much time as I can with him before he gets sent off.

[mrb020377]

that is good news bama!!!