I only really have one of those issues in my current relationship: minimization and blame.
It stands out to me because I've become more aware after verbal and sexual abuse in the past. In this case, my boyfriend is for the most part a great guy. I just end up doing the chores around the house more. Though he doesn't have much time, I get frustrated sometimes that I end up taking care of everything it seems because I can't let a dish sit more than overnight or let it get dusty or let the laundry go too long (I do my own and usually the bed sheets, he just does his own religiously). So it’s not a matter of him blaming me, as much as his minimizing some of his faults and not being able to change. Like his problem handling money; he recently gave me a big load of money to hold on for him because he knew otherwise he would spend it. I see signs like this from him that I know are not good in a boyfriend, or any mate for that matter. Growing up I had a mental step dad who spent too much and stole from my mom and other stuff so I worry about these things. But the thing is that he seems genuinely anxious about these things. He wants to change. My ex-step dad just worth it off to my mom and didn't take responsibility to anything, somehow turning it around and being mad at her for calling him out on things. I know part of my anxiety over this is left over from baggage I still carry from my past, so I thought I put it out there to get a couple second opinions on it.
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