[mr09]

i am having a hard time dealing with stress and anxiety right now. I am dating a girl as well as other guys also (long story short, i'd love to be in a relationship with only her - but she doesn't want to commit.) so i have started dating around to both try and meet new people and get over her. my "girlfriend" is also my ex. we've gone back and forth many times. bad break ups and a terrible last few months. We have been getting along great *except the last two days* and tonight, her "boyfriend" (one of the guys she is dating) is driving in and coming to stay with her for two nights. I am having such a hard time dealing with that. she knows how i feel. she knows im upset. i can't stop thinking about them hooking up/sleeping together. the dates i've been on have been strictly kissing - if even. no sleeping together (not talking about sex, just in the same bed) she has asked me to save valentines day for her because she wants to take me on a date. i just do not know how to feel at peace with these feelings of stress, anxiety as they are together. i know as soon as he leaves, she will come back to me - i think. but having to spend my time thinking and worrying about it all is really taking a toll on my focus in school and such.

yes, i have been dating also - but for other reasons, including one to get over her. i do not sleep with them, have them over, etc. she calls me her girlfriend sometimes and then says we're nothing. i was supposed to be fine with this (she thinks) because im also dating other people - but i don't think its the same at all. i try and talk to her about it and she's tired of the same conversation.

i don't really know what to do or how to feel...

[Soul Quake]

Why are you torturing yourself by putting up with this? You want a relationship, she doesn't. Pursue someone who actually respects you and desires the same things as you.

Get over her by ceasing contact. This is not a healthy situation to be in.

[mr09]

thats what i have done before. this has been going on 7 months. some has been talking, some has been not talking, some has been hooking up, some has been completely ignoring everything and then the first day of spring semester, we started talking again and became involved again after i had spent 2 months doing everything in my power to stay away. whenever i try and talk to her about it, she says she's done with this and the conversation and cant handle my ****. i know that she isn't for me and i don't love her at all in the same way i just want her in my life for some unknown reason.

we just got into a fight because i told her how much it was hurting me and she said "im sorry but im going to keep doing what is best for me." she calls my problems ****. i would do anything in this whole world for her. i do do everything - i'm dating other people to figure things out but i just wish she'd be understanding and sensitive - she used to be but i hardly ever see that anymore.

Hello, mr09. You would do anything in the world for her -- except let her go?

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by mr09

we just got into a fight because i told her how much it was hurting me and she said "im sorry but im going to keep doing what is best for me."

That sounds bad. You need to let her go and find somebody who cares about BOTH herself and you. This girl isn't going to change. Sorry.

[LookingforCalm]

Then this girl isn't right for you. I know it's easier said than done, but she doesn't respect what you want. I really think you'd be better off moving on with someone who wants what you do.

And to heck with the Valentine's Day thing! It seems to me you are being used...