Feeling like a burden when you have a mental illness

Myo - I would like to talk to you some more on this subject and I will when I have time. I understand a lot about what you are going through. I have been through some similar things. Sorry this is short, but I stopped in to see how things were going. PLEASE PM me if you need to talk more or vent.

Wow, Thanks so much for your concern, Please Help. This is the first time someone has taken this much interest in my issues and I really appreciate it. I have been on this site for more than three years now...and I think I finally understand...or better yet...now know that there IS something wrong that needs to be fixed...and I feel the healing can now begin. Already just admitting that there is a problem has lifted a heavy weight from my shoulders and helped to make my days a little brighter with hope. Please PM me whenever you are not busy...I would really appreciate your advice

Thank you for starting this thread and for everyone's replies, it has definitely helped me feel not so alone in this aspect.

I know that I am an emotional burden on my fiance. I frequently question why he is with me. I am always begging him to tell me why he stays with me, what about me is so great to love and want to be with forever, why he doesn't find someone who could love him and take care of him and be there for him more than I ever can even dream of. His answer is always the same "Because I love you." Which is such a hard thing for me to grasp. For a long time I didn't believe much in that whole you have to love yourself before you can let someone else love you, but I am paying the toll for that now...

Sometimes I feel like if I was just gone, he'd be much better off, much happier than he is now.

I am glad that we have significant others in our lives that deem us worthy and lovable and are willing to help us and support us. My fiance says "We will get better together."

do you ever feel like you don't know what love is...and therfore you cna't recognise it...like I mean...I know I love my bf...because I feel safe...and I lvoe spending time with him....but I ahve been in abusive relaitonships...where I thoguth the person lvoed me...but did not...I look back and I am like...how did I not see the signs

I do question if I really know what love is at times. Not because I've been abused by anyone, in fact, quite the opposite. But I question it because sometimes I think if I truly loved him then I wouldn't treat him the way I do; I would treat him a million times better. Other times, I feel like I am loving him to the best to my ability and my mental illness is making it difficult for me to fully show it.

Did that make sense?

Makes total sense...I feel the same way...my bf even asks if I love him...or if he is the only one feeling love...and this really hurts me

Just wanted to thank you for your kind response to my post 3 days ago, myoasis. I only just now saw it. And thanks for your offer to PM. I hope that you will come to feel fully deserving of your partner's love. I'm sure that you are.

To myoasis89: I have been deeply moved by all of you posts on this thread. I share many similarities with you. I too feel like a burden to my bf, but he also takes care of me. I often am scared of doing anything on my own though. I am a full time college student, living at my mothers house and I am afraid to find a job because I am already stressed out with life. I want to go the therapy, but I don't have the money for it. This is why I seek support here in the internet. All the problem in my head make really strain my relationship, but I am fortunate that I finally found a man who is willing to stick with me. I have gone to couples counseling with him before on his insurance when he had it. I really liked it, and it helped me a lot! I was wondering if you know of any techniques that might help me cope? Thank you for being here.

I understand what you are saying when you feel your emotions or moods affect the relationship for the worst. I can say that before I was diagnosed...and didn't know what my problem was...my moods had a deeply negative affect on my relationship at present and relationships in the past...and sitll do. It affects my relationship with my fmaily greatly as well...and they don't know that i have this problem...or are not willing to listen to my problems or try to understand. It was not until I told my bf that I had a problem...that everything started making sense to him. My arradic behaviour, anger, mood swings...he thought it was his fault. I made him cry on several occasions...something I am not proud of...ashamed actually...I also have been physically harmful to him and myself...something which I am veryy ashamed of. When these things happen...I feel I am completly out of control...when the actions happen I say..."who is this person, this is not me...I am a kind person...why is there this dark side to me. I don't deserve love." In actual fact i was isolated from the truth and my own identity. I was angry at myself...and had self hatred...I did these things to hurt myself.

Past relationships fell apart because it had a lot to do with my problem.

All I can say for advice is...please see a psychiatrist...it will be so worth it in the end. In Canada, I just need a referal from my doctor and I can see a psychiatrist for free because i ahve a medical card. I udnerstand in other countries this is not so easy...and not everyone's financial situation is the greatest...especially when you are a full time student. Even if you just pay for a few pyschiatrist appointments...it will help a great deal. save some money aside...justfor 1 or two appointments...in order to figure out what is exaclty wrong...a psychiatrist may also give you a discount because you are a full time student. They may also give you some coping methods on how to dela with your illness...or prescribe meds.


Couples counselling is one of the ebst things you can do to because I find it difficult to express my feelings in a way for my bf to udnerstand. My bf and I are going to try this. At universities, many of them offer free counselling with your full time school package...I would check out your university resources on counselling...That's where I first started when I had a problem.

Money may always be an issue...but youa re more important than material items. once you are able to cope better...life becomes much easier


PM me anytime if you ahve any questions or need support. I hope this helps with your situation...often support and udnerstanding are a necessary and major part of healing