need lots of relationship help

So this isn't about a romantic relationship...but has to do with a lot of my relationships at work.

So I've been at my job for about three months now. I am a recent college graduate, and many of my co-workers are my moms age and have kids. Ever since I got there I have felt that some of them don't like me and don't treat me very nicely...or they act like they think I'm stupid.

I know that I have also been quite difficult to deal with at times too. I don't know what is wrong with me, or if it is just the stress of this job, but all of a sudden I seem to be really not good with people. Many of them I don't like or want to talk to or try to get along with.

I'm wondering what skills I can build to help with this issue. I guess i never realzed when I was in school how important communication and relationship issues are in the workplace. Now I have a lot of work to do.

Do you know what you've been doing? Have you perhaps been talking "down" to them? Are they not college graduates? Do you perhaps try to talk over their heads? What do you think you do?

I guess the only thing I can offer is this. When I want to get along with people, I treat them with respect. That's what I want -- simple respect. I ask nothing more, but I'll accept nothing less.

Maybe that's all THEY want. ??? Hugs, Lee

yeah i know. I want to try to do that and treat people with respect. I think maybe I have talked down to some people...

I know one lady in particular started acting weird around me after I "talked back" to her when I was stating my opinion about something that was different than her opinion when we were having an event she had helped plan. I don't know if sometimes I say things or am too opinionated and don't do it very tactfully. that might have offended her.

Hi embracinglife!

Work place relationships can be very tedious at times. A couple of things from your post hit me and reminded me of some of my experiences.

Here you are, fresh out of school with new ideas and possibly different ways to do things and with possibly a different vision than the other older workers. They may have found what works for all of them and they stick with the tried and true ways. They may be thinking something like "oh here comes that new girl with a degree and thinks she knows everything and we don't need to change how we do anything cuz it still works for us".

I had a new boss one time who was young enough to be my son. He came into the office with guns blaring about how he was going to change everything and make it better. I sat there and fumed for awhile and thought, "how dare he down play what I have worked so hard to create over the past couple years!" It really made for some very tense moments for some time. The way we worked through this was kinda cool. He realized I felt like he was stepping on my toes and I realized that I was not being open to his thoughts and ideas, simply because he was what I called a snot nosed brat LOL. What we figured out was that respecting each others knowledge and listening to each other when it came to instituting some changes was key.

Being respectful to those who have been there longer and have made things work in their ways is also key. Maybe what you can do is be an active listener, ask questions so that you can better understand where they are coming from (without being condescending). Throw out some suggestions along with alternatives if what you suggest doesn't work they would have a plan B to fall back on (even if plan B is the old tried and true).

Many times there are reasons for why things are done a specific way that you may not be privy to....some kind of office history. If this is the case and the directive came from the boss...maybe talking to the boss about it and offering some ideas for change would be the way to go? If the change comes from the top, it may be easier for the others to accept it instead of from you? I don't mean to run to the boss for every little thing. That would not make you all warm and fuzzy with the others in the office. We must pick and choose our battles

I don't know if anything I have said makes any sense or is helpful to you in your situation. Regardless, I do wish you well and I hope you can all find a way around this situation to make it a happier place to work for all of you!

Take care,
sabby

thanks sabby, that does help. I think I have a lot I need to work on.

I'm so glad what I said was helpful to you. We are all a work in progress and learning how to communicate is part of that work.

I remember my days as a snot nosed brat when I first started working, gosh I thought I knew everything and that my ideas were the best. Boy was I in for a rude awakening LOL.

I've always been a people watcher too. I have learned a lot from watching folks and how they interact with their world. That may help you too in figuring out how to interact with and approach your fellow employees.

I think you will be fine. You want to have a good relationship with those you spend so many hours a day with. Only good can come from that!

Be well

so true sabby....i think that will help in improving my time at work....since it is 40 hours a week!