Am I NOT Dysfunctional Enoough to Warrant Attention?

It seems to me that I must not be overtly dysfunctional to warrant my friends' attention.

My friends' must either feel that I'm somehow 'above' them or am not worthy of their time and effort because I'm not as openly flawed (and worse I'm not demonstrative as being flawed). And I'm intolerant towards others treating me like a lesser person if and only if they have an unrealistic representation of me.

Most of my friends act as if I'm their father (even if I'm younger than them!).

It also seems that having a definable human emotion is BAD too. To be truly concerned. To build upon the relationships I have. To have perhaps two...perhaps even three...emotions at once.

Yet I notice that others do pay me attention if I act as if I'm some sick animal. Which I'd prefer not to do. But I feel that's rather pathetic and speaks to their own psychological problems and issues.

Perhaps it's my friends age. Or our culture and society. I don't know because I feel terribly lonely so often even though I do my best to interact and engage with others. And I want to slowly but surely break free from this. Yet I notice that I find it difficult to be satisfied with most interpersonal relationships...

for me, the real concern is why you need the attention in the first place. If you are looking for someone to help you understand what you're going through, and your friends are not doing that, I recommend talking to a professional of some kind or an adult. If your friends view you as sort of a father figure perhaps that's because you're more mature, and therefore, need someone mature understand your feelings. I find that when I'm really stuck, and I feel like no one is listening to me, I write stuff down and that helps. If you need another mature person to share your feelings with, my doors are open. Come on by anytime. I feel you.

Ah. Thank you!

I have this issue too, but not with friends - I have it with my therapist. Your phrase says it perfectly - he gives me the impression that I'm not dysfunctional enough. I suspect that my problems are just too vague - I have existential issues, feeling like I'm melting, not knowing where I'm going, why I'm alive. Everything about life feels random, down to my age and ethnicity, even my gender. Everything is accidental, mediocre. I'm profoundly depressed, but my therapist just seems to be at a total loss around me.

I keep asking - what do other people talk about, what do your other clients give you? He can't say anything about that, so he just stares at me with his frozen face. He's become pretty hostile. I think it's because I make him feel incompetent. He won't admit it of course. He doesn't give me $hit to go on.

(sigh) Terminating him tomorrow. Just have to learn from this. Any therapist who dismisses or diminishes me because I'm not dysfunctional enough for them, or makes me feel like I don't have the "right" problems in therapy, is a crap therapist. Live an and learn! But I'm annoyed at how much time I've wasted with this douchebag.

Sorry to hear the therapist didn't work out... but that's true of any profession, right? There are always some people who make you go: "how in the hell did you get this job, and why haven't you been fired yet?"

I've been through a handful of therapists. I make it a point never to settle on one for too long, then they get biased. I need fresh perspectives on my situation, not people who already like me telling me vague things about how nice I am. BARF.

I wish you luck in your quest for a new therapist. If you still need the support, then keep looking for one. On the larger issue, I think we can learn from the people who don't understand our problems, and get them out of our support system. Right?

Thanks for your thoughtful response to my hijack, Eric! (Sorry, The Reflex!)

Yes, or, "You have a lot going for you. Why don't you feel better?" Like, gee, I dunno, doc! Thought maybe you could help me out on that one!

I'm not saying the T has to solve my problem in a session or give me one magic sentence or mantra. I just expect the guy to roll up his sleeves and say, "Right, let's explore that."

My God, why is it so hard to find! Argh!

[quote=Larfu;1745288]
I've been through a handful of therapists. I make it a point never to settle on one for too long, then they get biased. I need fresh perspectives on my situation, not people who already like me telling me vague things about how nice I am. BARF. quote]