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#1
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my therapist came to the conclusion that my ex has NPD
At first i was in denial about it for various reasons...everything she knew about him shed heard from me (and certainly my perspective is biased) and secondly, it was hard to swallow the idea that the man who i'd considered my first true love had never really given two shits about me! However, i started to read about it and lo and behold every article was written as if it had him specifically in mind! A textbook case! Although it was painful to realize i'd wasted a year and a half on somebody who was incapable of caring about me, now i know how pointless it is to even try and maintain a friendship with him and from now on know what red flags to look out for. After we ended it took him exactly one week to find a new gf. it says a lot that he found it so easy to replace me even after professing his insane undying love to me for so long and then manages to rush into a new relationship without a second thought and to have it be as quickly intense and superficial as ours was (going steady after three days, saying i love you after three weeks, proposing marriage after two months) i feel terrible for thinking this way but i really hope he's treating her the same way! How ****** is that of me!? it would break my heart even more if it turned out he only acted so terribly with me and he treats her like a princess...what if it really was all my fault. one of my friends used to date him before i did and he treated her as badly as me and i know that narcissists don't stop that behavior, so i have no idea why i'm so scared of that happening...it's basically inevitable. But is it actually? is what i'm feeling normal after finally leaving an abusive relationship with an N? |
#2
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I think what you are feeling is normal after leaving an abusive relationship, period. I wouldn't think about what problems your ex- might or might not have or what he is doing at all! Get your attention off him and on yourself, girl! You'd make him proud spending all this time and money figuring him out in YOUR therapy. He was abusive, you're out, that's it! Yes, it's a blow to your ego and sense of self and security but you should be concentrating and working on those things; not what's wrong with him.
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