[salukigirl]

I'm so sick of this crap.....I am NOT an idiot. But I am to these people. One girl in particular. It doesn't matter what you like, it's terrible. Your food isn't real food. Your music sucks. Your taste in everything is terrible! Unless......you're an elitist like her. Oh, and you're always wrong about everything. It's like dealing with a 15 year old. I could tell her "my name is Jessica" and she would probably tell me "no, it's not."

She seriously just argued with me about the time it takes for food poisoning to set in. I have had food poisoning twice. It's 4-6 hours. Sometimes 2 if it's really bad. Nope. Because I said it - it's 10 hours. I don't even bother. I just let them walk around with this wrong information in their head. It's pointless to try. But I feel like I'm about to snap. A person can only take so much.

Everything I say, I get made fun of for. She will twist words around to make you sound like you were being whiny or however she wants you to sound. I'm sick of her! I feel like I'm just her little punching bag and I'm seriously about to go off on her. I can't take it much longer. I don't want to but I don't know how else to make this stop! She is a 35 year old bully!

[madisgram]

bullies are the worst. any way you can avoid her? if not totally ignore her statements. don't reward her with a reply cause she'll twist it around on you. hugs.

[salukigirl]

She is in my department so I can't avoid her :-/

For the most part I can just ignore her. It's just personally annoying having someone think that I'm stupid. That's the part that bugs me. I know I shouldn't care what she thinks but it's aggravating knowing that she thinks I'm an idiot when all these times she's arguing with me over nothing....I'm correct but she won't accept that.

[Omers]

Sometimes it can help to beat them to the punch line....
"I know you'll disagree but_____________" then they have to either agree that they disagree or agree to your point. It can be a fun little box to put them into and see what they do. Sometimes until someone does this a few times they don't even know that they are doing it.

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Omers

Sometimes it can help to beat them to the punch line....
"I know you'll disagree but_____________" then they have to either agree that they disagree or agree to your point. It can be a fun little box to put them into and see what they do. Sometimes until someone does this a few times they don't even know that they are doing it.

That's really funny/ kinda awesome idea

"How are you doing today, Ms. Highbrow?"
"How is my favorite ultracrepidarian today?"

[Perna]

Sounds like she is very insecure and jealous to me. I don't think she thinks you are an idiot, I think she's jealous and working hard at denial. Do you know much about her family? Bet she has a sister or cousin who gets the good grades, teachers love, has friends and boyfriends and jobs, is competent on her own, etc.

[SlatkaMala]

Originally Posted by Perna

Sounds like she is very insecure and jealous to me. I don't think she thinks you are an idiot, I think she's jealous and working hard at denial. Do you know much about her family? Bet she has a sister or cousin who gets the good grades, teachers love, has friends and boyfriends and jobs, is competent on her own, etc.

Ah, good point, Perna.

Yeah those elitist types are annoying as hell. I've learned that the best thing to do about these types is not to engage with them. I keep things to a minimum with those types at a work environment. I'll keep conversations only about work related things and not share one bit of personal stuff with them.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

She is in my department so I can't avoid her :-/

For the most part I can just ignore her. It's just personally annoying having someone think that I'm stupid. That's the part that bugs me. I know I shouldn't care what she thinks but it's aggravating knowing that she thinks I'm an idiot when all these times she's arguing with me over nothing....I'm correct but she won't accept that.

saluki obviously she's not a "friend" so just don't try to get into it with her. you know you're not stupid, right? so it doesn't really matter if she says you're stupid. like she's not that important anyway. i like omers suggestion too if you do respond.

[lastyearisblank]

I feel like that is so not uncommon among grad students, someone in my undergrad department called it "impostor syndrome." It's like there's this artificial competition to prove that you do belong and are the best. (I mean obviously everyone doesn't do that just really immature people). But I agree just do your thing, the best revenge is success.

She's the one with an issue salukigirl.If she was as secure as she pretends to be, she'd allow room for you to be you and her to be her.She has low self-esteem.Just know that you are perfectly YOU and don't need to please her.I'd take her power away and start saying ...."Thank you for your opinion." and move on to something else.Although I have to wonder how good my opinion was here...because I'd be just as irritated as you are.

[salukigirl]

Thanks, everyone. Last night I kind of did that. She was arguing with me over something stupid (pronunciation of a freaking word) and I even showed her the pronunciation in the dictionary. She said my dictionary wasn't reliable (???) so she found one that was (it was because it showed her pronunciation was also allowable) and I said "that's fine. You can walk around saying that and have people look at you like you're an idiot. I'm going to say it the correct way" and she got so mad. haha

I feel bad laughing but it really does make me giggle.....

Ok...well...now I am giggling too...lol.More power to ya girl!

[Perna]

I still feel sorry for her; what's that saying about not having arguments of wit with an unarmed person?

Ah haha.So true too.~W~

[salukigirl]

Wow so she butted in AGAIN! At this conference there is a trivia game for graduate students and they do it every year. Well we actually had a team this year and I'm on it. We got 2nd place which gets us a spot in the nationals in November. So she comes over walking with all of us going to the meetings and shaking hands with people like she is on the team and she has nothing to do with it what so ever. It's like she can't let anyone have anything! She was attempting to get congratulations from people for not doing anything!

[Ygrec23]

Hi, salukigirl! Sorry about your enemy there. Have you really tried laughing at her? Smiling secretly and slily when she makes her ridiculous objections to whatever it is you say or do? Serious laughter, smiles, and a refusal to reply to her comments or talk with her might well put her in her well-deserved place. Just trying to help! Take care.

[salukigirl]

The last couple days I have just avoided her. She hasn't really gotten the hint. The closing reception for the conference is tonight and I'm sure she will go. We will see how she acts then.

I did finally stand up for myself today. There is a guy in our dept who people really have a problem with but the brunt of everything focuses on me and this other girl. We have been talking it out trying to figure out the best course of action and I suggested that, when you lay down the line and people still don't respect it, the dept. head is the best option. He has most likely dealt with this behavior before and would know how to handle it. Well she starts yelling that she was going to go confront the guy (terrible idea) and telling me that going to talk to the dept head was not good at all and that if I said her name as a person with concerns, she would deny it up and down (even though she HAS vocied concerns). So finally today I told her: don't go to him. I have it taken care of. And she asked if I was sure and I'm like...yes....you have no place in this. He is not doing this to you - DO NOT CONFRONT HIM. And she finally dropped it. Low and behold...I talked to the guy and the situation has (for now) been settled.

Just seems like she needs to be involved in everything and loves to be surrounded by drama. Tries to start arguments over the tiniest things which I stopped about 5-10 years ago - because it's not worth the energy. Anytime she tries to rile me up I just say "to each his own" and change the subject. Doesn't stop her from going off though.

I have decided that I have to just keep telling myself that her opinion has no bearing on my success and, if I know I'm right, just ignore her and let it go. After all, if I try to convince her of something and she refuses to believe I'm correct - SHE is the one who will look like an idiot saying the wrong information to a colleague or higher-up.

Thanks for talking me through this guys. I think it all came to a head because we are secluded at this conference for 5 days and I typically only get her in tiny doses and this week has just been constant. But I'm going to enjoy my last night here and ignore her.