[gsom]

Hi,

I have been married for 10 months now. My husband is very short tempered. I knew him before marriage as well but did not show any symptoms of short temperament earlier than being married.
He gets angry at silly things like not putting a lid on milk pan, not knowing whether there is an extra washing powder in house or not, not removing the plug of the iron box(though it is turned off).
He keeps blaming on and on again though he himself is very lethargic and does'nt help much in household stuff. I am a working woman trying to manage work and household.He shouts like crazy , never ever admits his mistakes and blames me of having short temper inspite of me trying hard to control my anger. I do not see any changes in him and these episodes recurr every 2 months. Hes very moody as well. I am contemplating divorce in my mind as i tried everything possible to sort things and make him understand things. I love him though and also feel he loves me but i dont think il be able to keep taking this from him as change is something that he doesnt think he needs no matter what. I am sad .Please help?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, gsom, and welcome to Psych Central! I would have a hard time putting up with his short temper, too. And you say he wasn't that way earlier?

Does he have any relatives who might be able to tell you about him? Maybe he managed to keep this temper hidden while you were dating. It is possible, though, that he is depressed.

If you can, then you might consider talking to a marriage counselor. I'm not sure he would go, so you might go on your own.

Have you tried telling him how he makes you feel when he is so short-tempered? If you are careful in how you word things, then maybe he won't go on the offensive so much. For example, why does he get upset when you leave the iron box plugged in? Can he explain that? ("I am wondering why you seem to be bothered when I leave the iron plugged in. It hurts me when you get so angry at me.")

It doesn't sound like he has a job. Why is that? It could be that he is bothered that he can't be "the man."

Maybe something I said will be helpful, anyway.

[gsom]

Hello,

I am really not sure why small things bother him so much. For the iron thing he says that by mistake if the switch is on it could lead to a big accident hence unplug it but he doesn't say that in a soft manner and makes a big scene out of it.
As you said i will be more careful with my words which i generally try to be, as i know that giving him a small chance can cost me a lot. Still I would take your advice and use a softer tone to tell him how i feel.
I really wish things were different. Let me try n give the relationship some more time.

Thanks for your help

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Hi, gsom, and welcome to Psych Central! I would have a hard time putting up with his short temper, too. And you say he wasn't that way earlier?

Does he have any relatives who might be able to tell you about him? Maybe he managed to keep this temper hidden while you were dating. It is possible, though, that he is depressed.

If you can, then you might consider talking to a marriage counselor. I'm not sure he would go, so you might go on your own.

Have you tried telling him how he makes you feel when he is so short-tempered? If you are careful in how you word things, then maybe he won't go on the offensive so much. For example, why does he get upset when you leave the iron box plugged in? Can he explain that? ("I am wondering why you seem to be bothered when I leave the iron plugged in. It hurts me when you get so angry at me.")

It doesn't sound like he has a job. Why is that? It could be that he is bothered that he can't be "the man."

Maybe something I said will be helpful, anyway.