[thetheft]

So, 1st: my boyfriend is really thinking about being in the military. And he does not want to go overseas. But im really really scared hes going to go like, into war. Actually, im terrified.
2nd: If he does go away for a while, he said he wouldnt want to be "one of those guys that comes back and finds out his girlfriend ****ed off with someone else." I was like, wtf, do you not trust me?
3rd: i found out that hes going to Europe after he graduates next year. The legal drinking age in Germany is like, 16. All hes going to be doing there is getting drunk off his *** all the time and ****, he'll probably smoke there too. Which means that the deal we made (i wouldnt cut if he didnt smoke *and drink*) Would be worthless.
I feel so misserable right now. But he already thinks im trying to control him somehow. All I do is tell him what I think.
I dont know what to do...

[Can't Stop Crying]

I wish I had the answer for you. Relationships are tough. Hang in there!

[Leed]

Why are you worrying about it NOW? He's TALKING about going overseas NEXT YEAR. Why project ? You're ruining today. You can't do anything about tomorrow cause it's not here yet -- and chances are he won't even go. Then you would have done all that fretting for nothing!

Forget about it until it happens. Then, if he really goes to Germany - all bets are off. Simple as that. He goes HIS way, and you go yours. If the two of you meet again, so be it.

In the meantime, just enjoy each others' company. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[thetheft]

Thanks guys.

[RomanSunburn]

I agree with Lee on this; don't worry about these things right now. In regards to Germany, I don't think you necessarily have to end the relationship. If he decides to go, then you should have a conversation with him, reminding him of the agreement you two had come up with. Make it VERY clear your feelings on drinking, smoking, and whether or not you two have an exclusive relationship. It is perfectly within you're right to end the relationship if your opinions don't mesh. If they don't, these are very serious things that could lead to a lot of heartache for you.

As to the military, you could always recommend the Coast Guard. They don't go to war the same way the Marines or Army do, or even the Air Force. Generally they'll stick to the coasts, be involved with some drug running busts, etc. My mother tells me they have the best bases

The only thing I would take a hard look at NOW would be the fact he thinks you're trying to control him. The two of you might want to sit down and have a conversation about why he feels that way. Try to stay calm, learn the reasons he thinks this, find out if they're valid, and if they are, compromise to figure out a way to balance the relationship. If they're not valid, explain to him why you're doing the things you're doing and how you don't see that as being controlling. The key thing is to try to stay calm during this conversation and stay away from blaming and defensiveness in both of you. Again, if the two of you cannot see eye to eye on this issue, perhaps it would be time for the two of you to let yourselves go your separate ways. You deserve to be with someone that loves you, trusts you, and want the best for your relationship. Don't settle for anything less than that.

Take care!