my parents just do not understand me!

I feel that if i ever tell anything to my parents they will find a way to blame me. I cant stand that. Im almost 16 and they think I "rebel" all the time. I dont. I cannot have a normal conversation with them without fighting. I have trust issues and its sad that I cant even trust the people who have taken care of me because they dont listen to me. I dont think they have ever put themselves in my shoes and just supported me. And because I get so angry at them they get mad at me if I show my anger so I have to bottle up everything and then I just explode and to relieve the pain I have to hit things, myself or injure myself in anyway. I dont know what to do. HELP ME! PLEASE!

I think most of us go through this with our parents to some extent. I guess the generation gap is to blame. Some are bigger than others. my parents had me when they were 39 (I'm 36 now).

I know you are just a teen but maybe you should seek professional help for yourself even if you parents don't want to participate. It could be a battle getting them to pay for therapy though, so seek out free options like a school counselor.

But you do deserve to be understood and supported. Ya I been through that with my parents where they want to rationalize a situation instead of just accepting that I am feeling bad and that all that counts is that I need to be soothed.

Bless your heart ~ I can totally understand. Being a teenager is rough enough, without having parents who don't even TRY to understand.

One thing I have always said is teenagers have a RIGHT to get angry at times!!! Why shouldn't they? Anger is an emotion -- and there are times when it's justified just like when adults get angry. It's all about how the teen REACTS to the anger.

Why do you have trust issues with your parents? Have they betrayed you in the past? I would hope that you could trust your parents above everyone else

The ONLY advice I can give you is when you want to talk to your parents, keep your voice down -- try not to give in to the anger even IF your parents become irritated. Try not to give "one word answers" to your parents. My granddaughter would do that to her mother, and that would INFURIATE her Mom. Her mom would ask her why she was late coming home because she was supposed to be home at 4pm and she came home at 5:30pm. My granddaughter would answer "Because." You KNOW that would drive a mother nuts!! Give full explanations to questions without an "attitude." My granddaughter always had a "tude."

I'm NOT saying everything is your fault, and I'm NOT saying that you DO all these things. I'm just picking at straws here. LOL Just be careful with the tone of your voice - and hang onto your anger. Hopefully you and your parents will get along better. Then later, if you're still angry, go in your room and SCREAM into your pillow and kick your feet on your bed!!! That's what *I* do when I'm mad! That way the cops don't get called. LOL Hugs, Lee

I have three teenagers and also remember being a teen like it was yesterday, and the best thing i can say is to be honest with your parents. Sometimes when my daughter is trying to tell me something, i get all caught up in the emotion of what i think my daughter is trying to say. When that happens, she calmly says to me "mom, i'm trying to tell you something. Can you just listen to me please" and that usually works
Honesty and respect are two tools to use with parents that will usually work to your advantage.
Good luck!

Hi, moonlightgirl. I think everyone gave good advice here. I'm going through similar stuff right now. As much as I love my parents, they don't understand me either. They didn't when I was a pre-teen and they still don't understand now that I'm young adult. I feel like I can't ever get to the bottom of anything because they don't really address what they're feeling or what I'm feeling. I know I'm rather quick-tempered and that doesn't help much either. I'm currently working on this with my T and it's overwhelming. I wish you the best. I know it's so hard.